I’m an addict
It’s obvious

It’s in the way I drink
Desperately pouring into my gut
To finally let a smile grace my lips
To mask my constant pain

It’s in the things I do at night
Phone in one hand
The other reaching down
Endlessly searching for another wave
Just one more moment of bliss
Before I go back to reality

It’s in the way I swallow my pills
Trying to will them to be stronger
Begging each extra tablet
To be just a little too much

It’s in the emptiness of my soul
The numbness of my heart
The agony in my head
And the recklessness of my spirit
I know it’s inside me
A few years and you’ll see
It’ll be quite obvious
I’m an addict

the orange bottle was in my hands

translucent and daunting

taking the oblong shapes was however vital

swallowing each pill one by one

left a burning taste in my throat

peering through my wired frames

death blew me over like a candle flame

I just want to throw all the ******* pills
Out of the ******* window
But they’re the only things keeping me sane enough
To not slit my wrist open tonight

The pills work great
I still kinda want to cut myself
But I’ll fall asleep before I can unsheathe the knife
They make my brain all fuzzy....
And I breathe nice and slow
My heart rate is gentle, steady
Like I can feel my blood pumping smoothly, slowly
And I’ll feel like this tomorrow
But I’ll ignore it
Take some more pills
And I guess that’s life now
Sedated and aching

I would never admit it
But I do think it
I know you will always be in my life
Because I worry
With all the pills you pop
That one day you won't talk to me
Not because I'm blocked
But because you won't be alive to talk

I feel dangerous
Hatred, anger, adrenaline
Racing through me
Maybe I’ll take some pills
And have a drink
Just for fun
Let’s see.