i long for the heavy
                 the warm
                 the calm
         and the regular
i want to submerge
    and to float
    and to breathe
    and to feel
i'm longing to spin
             and to sink
             and to shine
                                   on
    
(19881219)

My gaze remains unrequited
Yet I spy smooth skin without ripples
The smile that arrives when you wave
Your hair that flows about in currents
Yet my gaze remains like statues
My passion seated in cement
Seeing what moves others but remaining still
And how the others, for you fall
As you come and then take leave
With amber eyes a flush in autumn
Yet my butterflies have been grounded
My stomach suspending their flights
So that emotional baggage is delayed

all are so cold to me now:
  
EMPTY SHEETS of paper
with nothing more to say
  
EMPTY SHEETS of ice
still covering the bay
  
and
  
EMPTY SHEETS of linen
where you used to lay.
  
(19980208)

we move through life
in PARALLEL LINES
like tire tracks
moving far and fast
and side-by-side
in sight of each other
the whole time
but never coming together

we move through life
in PARALLEL LINES
like a divided highway
stretching far and wide
and side-by-side
in sight of each other
the whole time
but never touching

(20150708)

It begins with a soft bite
That quickly forms into a leech
Beseeching my thoughts...
Controlling my speech..
Preaching important matters
Carrying potential to teach
All their essential condescending
Never-endings out of reach

Yet the pitfall arrives
When I choose to listen
With sighs and ghosted thoughts
The result of some or other condition
Bolstering a vision with apt precision
When every remission indicates
The necessary revision

Envy stifles a stern conviction
Jealousy trifles within final prediction
Anger endangers calm
Making strangers within this perdition
Bring it all in as I wriggle and writhe
Because I am to blame
For all of my pride

...It stays inside

As soon as my cards were shown I decided to fold. I can't keep this under control while I'm so vulnerable. Yet another rapport thrown in the fire and tossed out the door... And I'm so **** gullible. I watch this bridge burn from a distance before it will mend. Yet again the result of desiring you-
More than a friend

I’m ready to have my heart broken today,
Though perhaps this is simply the impact,
Of the slow-mo hammer that’s been coming
Since the Rube Goldberg machine of life started,

Not so long ago

The sun bolstered my confidence by,
Hiding behind morose bloated clouds,
Only giving half light support,
And then leaving completely.
Yellow bellied good for nothin’…

I’m ready to have my heart broken today,
My flippant flying exterior trying to calm
My Red October sinking sub soul.
But this isn't all her fault,
Granted she’s breaking my heart.

And here I sit
in this old restaurant,
-- i wonder what history this table holds
eating food gone cold.

It's 10 til close
and I'm that *******
who refuses to leave.
-- they wonder what i'm avoiding by being here

My eyes glued
to a laptop I can't read,
they've long glossed over,
and I came here to work.
--i wonder if they watch and ponder me
I should probably go

All I can think of is sleep
but I flinch at the thought of
what lies behind closed lids.
-- they wonder when they'll get to go home
10 minutes have passed

Ere those despairing months have come to pass
And befall my pensive condition
With tempests that hide a southerly sun in undulating expression

I examine my place here
Mind swaying like blades of grass

With neither voice nor sound of breath
I consider the evanescent present.

If you ever needed something to doubt
it's connections
Feeling uncertain
or mislead by the things being said
Is it a false sense of protection ?
we often romanticize our interactions with others
we forget the heart has it's needs
and it can deceive and project a false perception
The hunger to feed the brain outweighs any other need
But we keep it simple and let our insecurities take the lead
Moving foward with whatever feels safe
telling yourself you feel like you're  In a better state
some kind of comfort zone
did you ever stop and think it was never created on your own
everyone's been given a piece to hold
Unknowingly giving up the keys to your throne
Turn things around before it gets old
Be bold , go against all the lies you've been told
it's okay to be alone it's okay to be part of the unknown
Next time remind yourself of that when you feel the unwanted attention overflow
it might be that extra baggage you refuse to let go all because of that fear of someone saying I TOLD YOU SO