Please
Attend
To
Inquiries
Eagerly,
Noticeably,
Creatively,
Effor­tlessly.

I ache.
In this dreaded hospital once more, I ache.
I watch, as my mother lays on the bed for the sick, half alive.
I ache.
Sitting in the Chapel feeling like I have no one left, I fall to my knees and sob.

My damaged soul cries out for mercy and light, for strength and hope that has been leaving me all alone.

I ponder how I will get back on my feet and move forward when everyone is putting things in my head.
They make me feel like an abused rag doll, pulling me left and right.

I don't think I've ever felt so alone, overwhelmed or confused in my life.
But one day, I know that this will teach me a valuable lesson, I know that I will grow.

I must have patience, so I will keep waiting until the time comes when I can finally be at peace, and I finally will know.

Inside a forest of my own making
where the vines are merciless and though dreams may die the evergreen awakens

I must be patient,
and follow the voice at my core

through these arches, roots, through the self-made distrust
that manifests as branches sharp enough to divide me
so I’m on guard like a sentinel

You think you’ve been starved of serenity
well I have a Chimera’s hunger and a sage’s mind

a lethal combination
and I'm killing more than time
I’m after my former self
since I need a rebirth and some revenge
because that man wasted centuries caught in vicious cycles

when the key to escape was right there between two temples.

Today I say "I Do."
Today, I commit to loving someone
that I could only dream of.
Today, I realize that I will have to work,
Work to love her like she deserves.
She deserves forgiveness, kindness, patience.

Today I will create a love that is impenetrable--
No one will be able to erode the strength,
self-confidence,
and resilience.

Silence. Peaceful? No!
Questions. Unanswered. How long?
Patience, not my thing.

Picking apart nests
Does the cactus wren make friends
Some success you have

Bubble in the sky
Whispers billowy
Hello’s
And then vanishes
Leaving me wondering

Like a question unanswered
You are out there
My creme filled doughnut of love
You taunt me
I meet you
In bars
You are witty
You speak of Hemingway and heroism
And wine filled coffee houses that would be great to muse
In
Then you leave with your girlfriend
Who confessed to me she doesn’t love you
As I twist the cap on her beer open
And wish it was laced with some sort of truth poison

You
You are out there
I don’t expect you to ride up on a white horse
Perhaps just have a good conversation
Because Hello dear isn’t exactly enticing
Or drawing me in
In this algorithm, online dating world

You, you are out there
I have to believe it,
Somewhere In this jaded heart filled boxed of mine
I release the edges of hate
That have filled the corners of what was my yesteryear's
Long I ago I would have been what was considered Old Maid fate
I know there is just a glimpse of golden
Amongst all this shaded grey

You, you are out there
Each year that goes by
You become more hazy
I have to wipe the windows
Inside me
To trust you are there

You, you are out there
You have changed from muscle man hero
To creative, inspiring, accepting, adventurous lover

You, you are out there
Able to handle this non laid back lady
Able to see beyond just ripping off clothes
And slapping my ***

You, you are out there
Sometimes your to long winded
But Still not jaded
Able to take my hand
And hold it
In the wind blown turmoil of what I have been

You , you are out there
Weathered words, that hold pages
Of information
You spill out onto my soul
And make me want to dive in

You, you are going to be a part of this story
We will tell it
Like the alchemist
Who sought to chase the wind
You
You are the ending
So Let the beginning
Begin