The feelings I feel are so confusing to me
No matter what I do I can't make them leave
They hit me and yell and scratch till I bleed
Always around, bringing me to my knees
I feel them in my skin, they buzz in my brain
Mentally I'm in the street laid out in the rain
They rip out my nails and tap dents in my collar bones,
Force me back to my room where I just lay all alone,
Darken my eyes, drain the color from my face
The creature now in the mirror I look at with disgrace

There's an ache in my chest
That travels through my bones
I can't get any rest
I feel so alone

I feel like I could split open
Even bleed out on the floor
Would my eyes finally close then
Not feeling this pain anymore

I know it'll go away
I've felt this before
But it brings me so much shame
When I can't get off of the floor

On the highway of overthinking

I'm driving myself crazy

Passing by usual shops of self-deprecating,

self-hating, and anxiety

Rarely sleeping but in the motels of nightmares

I'm mutilating  myself, with this journey

On these uneven roads leading, unprepared

Keeping my wheels going through music and poetry

The foul weather isn't with me,

even from the clouds of people I know

I can see raining doubts and objections

If I don't change my path,

I may end up crashing or enter the city of depression

then slowly I may forget the ways to my true heart

I may give up under this crippling oppression.

The world likes to bring you down
The people around you drag you to the ground.
How can someone so happy crumble
They don't like you, want to see you under.

What can I do to change this solem state,
The funk I'm in is not easy to break.
I can see the light shine bright through the window above me, far from reach and its there to taunt me.

A thousand words want to scape me but I have no chance or break, I can barely free myself.

Prison cell I'm in.
If you could feel, would you be happy I'm here?

Messy mind is a messy state,
I want to break free of your chains.

Sgp