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You used to be my best friend,
now its like i never existed.
You used to be my best friend,
now its like you never existed.

You ran when i needed you most
Thanks for the help dad
Do you sleep peacefully?
Is there any guilt or remorse when you think of me?

do you even realize
what you did to me
when the personal creator
who birthed me
Tragically departed the earth early
only two weeks after turning 18.
You were nowhere to been seen
searching for your teen.
Her heart she let open bleed
at that fateful scene.

But if you're wondering,
Im alve and occupied,
attempting to mend these shattered pieces of mine

How could you abandon
our bond and memories so easily
Didnt even say sorry,
you still don't try to get ahold of me.

a sweet young girl
taking on a new lonely world.
Youd be proud to know,
i conquered it great
with no supports and did what it takes
to adapt, grow up and outlast.
I've matured too fast.

i forgive as a daughter
but as a parent
i can never understand
you are not a man

I forgive as a daughter
but as a father
I will never understand
abandonment as your plan
thus forfeiting being a man.

Grieving you,
but your not dead.
Your lost in your head.
18 was supposed to be when my life started
not grieving a mother
and wondering what happened to my father

i will always wonder.
Its not fair to me, nor to the men i meet,
that i want them to fill the emptiness in me
that you could easily complete.

All you have do is call me.
Grieving someone who's not even dead,
is an enitrely differnt level of grief itself.

Thanks for the help dad
i try not to be mad
but knowing you choose
drugs over me
livng on the streets
makes me wonder why i'm not good enough.
You don't even have to give that up.
Just wish youd call and say what's up.

I will do me.
You do you.
Youll wish you stayed,
Once i can fully make peace with the truth
I can be the me
that was free
and full of life
before you disrupted my upbringing.

I will rise again
like the phoenix always does.
hazem al jaber Oct 2024
Orphan ...

Every details ...
Of this evening ...
Misses you madly ...
As if I am an orphan ...
Alone ...
Me and my coffee ...
And my lips ...
Even ...
My pen ...
Because of your absence ...
The ink dried up in it ...
Even if i ...
embraced the whole world ...
I will remain an orphan ...
Because of your absence ...
And no one in this world ...
Fills my heart with happiness ...
Like you always do ...
Only you ...

That's why I am ...
Now ...
This evening ...
An orphan ...
Living in loneliness ...
And cold ...
Because of your absence ...
I am an Orphan ...

Hazem Al ...
LD Goodwin Aug 2022
With my first breath, I become
to wander till the last
to be and be and be some more
time slow at first, soon fast

And with his last draw of this world's breath
an orphan I become
His time well spent I take my place
to hear my distant drum

Dark dying thoughts once swallowed me
like harpies chattering on the wind
But with the truth of death fresh at my door
I greet him as a friend

Together we shall walk and talk
and leaves and stars will fall
I will see the patterns unfold
once hidden revealing all
Last year I lost my Dad, Sister, and my Sister-in-law. The naturalness of death brought me thoughts of my own.  They are not morbid thoughts anymore but rather peaceful truths.
JKirin Mar 2021
Call my name,
see the ghost of the past I became.

Of this world, I am lost in the shadow
left to feed off the old war’s debris.
It’s too big for an innocent child
that is forced to grow up, don’t you see?

In the village, I walk unnoticed –
every grownup stares right through me.
On my tasks, I try to stay focused,
while the one thing I want is to scream.

Scream out loud at the people, the street
to be heard for a second, be seen.
In this world, do I even exist?
How, a child, would I even know this?

Call my name,
bring me back to the living, again.
about orphans
N Feb 2021
Who dares **** a child
by burning their yellow?

It shivers and weeps,
and in oblivion it sleeps
F Nov 2020
Life is so full, yet i'm so hungry
They all have shelter, but i have no home
Life is so free, yet so restricted
From all the joy im evicted.
Ylzm Jul 2020
Lust's outcome, unwanted, abandoned at birth.
Mothered by strangers, some naturally motherly,
some perversely wicked; fathers, a terrifying notion.
Fearing constantly: of the next face, the next stranger,
the next meal, the next bath, of dark and dawn.
Thrown about, moved around, from hand to hand;
Recovering from bruises to bruises, from slaps to whips.

But for being chosen from before the beginning,
and a name etched permanently in the Book of Life,
was found, saved, raised and guarded by Love.
The trauma of becoming left no resentful damage
but nurtured an instinctive sensitive soul, most acutely aware
of the deceitfulness, perversity and utter wickedness of man
and a constant wonderment of the miracle of Love.
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