Sorrow swirls in the shell that I am
Was already broken before we began
Cracks only noticed if you doubletake
Pieces of me held together by tape
no one could see the facade was great
Finally I think I wont  hesitate
This is the first day I walked through my  gate Since losing myself through tragic mistakes Then by what must have been fate
I stumbled onto a girl hunched by a  lake with no expression on her face  
pieces of her scattered all over the place
I asked her how long has it been this way?
A tiny voice shaking with fear
Said as long as I remember
You See this lake is my tears
I state one this size must take many years  you would a been a child where was your  Mom  during this dear?
The small voice replies She was drinking her beers . Chasing a man she didn't even notice that I was crying began.  And It's my fault in the end  there's no denying before me mommy was happy.
I stop her right there and say this just can't be true why would think that way
I get no reply the small voice went silent
Still waiting to die . Then I say it louder why is this inside of your head did you think it up yourself or is it something someone said.
She replied more quite then before
Mom told me herself one night on the floor
She came home drunk and alone
I loved nights like these bc after I rubbed on her feet  I got I lay next to her untill we fell asleep . I thought she liked it to then she told me it was my fault.
I listened and thought wow I'm such a coward took me so long to face the world bc image is my power . That night we spoke for what seemed like hours.
That was one of her many  sad sad encounters  this woman never felt any joy or excitement for over  30 years she took on others burdens  and liked it. Because she thought it was her role
I couldn't handle hearing this anymore
I started grabbing up all the parts that I could see. Trying to piece her together my tape at her seams I kept pulling more from from every part i could see then i started to drop parts of myself  thoughts of what if people see me not whole, wait this girl needs my help. Picked up my parts as the dropped put them in my pocket she has been sad to long it's time for me to stop it. She started to stand she was almost all together this was my plan . I wanted to give her the rest of her life never feeling any of that pain or strife All the pieces found,but one I  frantically searched in the sand where is it ? It's not here how can I keep my promise? Her smile was my goal I told her that honest . Her last part was gone she thanked me and said that I tried it was enough. Just take the tape back this gesture had touched her but can't feel it inside . The part that was missing was her heart. I had used all my tape and pockets where full . I came so close to seeing her glow . I couldn't stop now she needed to know life has moments that are more precious than gold I wanted to show life h . Said you will take the burden of others as long as they ask well take mine as a  final request . I want you to live your life to the fullest and try your very best
Never loose that smile please stay focused I will be rooting for you then I reached in my chest pulling my heart out I felt it's final beat . Placed in in her and it fit perfectly I could see that the rhythm of her new heart was well it was me . I smiled and said now your complete

You where the
Shining hope that
Brought me back to life
You filled the hole
in my heart
Just right
from the start
It was a perfect fit
Then
A nightmare hit
When I thought
I love my kids
I feel so sick
I had a family
Loved them
Thought she
Was ride or die
Never once did
It Cross my mind
That she would
Leave me behind
I realized
Fear in my eyes
Repeating the pain
Stuck in rewind
After that
I stayed in disguise
Love hidden through lies
Forgetting you and I
Are separate you couldn't
See my hearts true intentions
And I Couldn't hear
any of your questions
Begging  me why
Or see tears in your eyes
Years of repetition
Left you traumatized
I'm sorry that
My inability to change
Changed your view
Witch changed the way
You shaped To fill the hole
In my heart
You where a perfect fit
Right from the start
But today is different
I played the biggest part
I Just  damaged while
you helped me grow
I wish I could manage
Just to let  you know  
When you vanished
I faced the fear alone
I'll never cover up
A fear with a lie
It took me letting you go
To open my eyes
Now I have to live
the rest of my life
Knowing I caused
The demise of some one
That fit me so perfect
I hope that in time someone
Shows you your worth it
This is the goodbye
I don't want but
You deserve it

Friends walk side-by-side
when you need them most
as woes tug at your sleeve
or tackle you from behind
they're there to halt the fall
until you're ready
ready to face the rising sun
as the curtains open on a new day
that is not overwhelming anymore

✧She smelled of flowers and vanilla✧
✧Late at night you could hear her;✧
✧She'd sing to herself quietly✧
✧Just like her daddy always did,✧
✧If you'd look close enough✧
✧You'd see the tears in her eyes✧
✧And the storm in her heart.✧
✧She'll never admit it,✧
✧But she does deeply miss him.✧