Sometimes your name escapes me.
A name I considered precious, held close to my heart

The name I used to cry out loud at night,
When we would lose ourselves in one another.

The shape of your name on my lips,
Like a distant memory, was it the same then as it is now?

I close my eyes repeating your name in hushed tones.
The weight it holds now is no more than that of a falling leaf.

I forgot your name when I awoke today.
It was for the best, but I need it for one more day.

A sunbeam strikes a gong within the soul,
the forest whispers through the canopy.
The naming of the rain reveals the toll,
wind blows away the self to set me free.
I strip away my armor without fear,
the body underneath has been dissolved.
I sacrifice my sight to be a seer;
through astral eyes, I judge, and am absolved.
As joy takes up its journey by my side,
And I take in the things I'll never do,
I let go of my arrogance and pride,
now the only way out is fully through.
Confounded by the cosmic, I will sing:
"Spread love to every person, place, or thing."

i still repeat your name
before i go to sleep
at night.
because maybe if i say
it enough,
the ghost of the old you
will haunt me
-because the new you is dead to me.