morbid and unwanted
thoughts invade my mind,
i am captured into the hands
of evil power, a power that is
stronger than mine, and it's
overpowering me, so much
that i can't breathe and my
last breath is stolen by the
demon that has been above
me all this time, the demon
that didn't leave my side,
even just for a minute.

Finding myself in an enclosed arena on an artificial earth
Darker than a demon's spirit, I bent down and grasped the dirt
The cold of ice, the life in death, I soon learned
This battlefield had been produced by my consciousness and birthed
Light now completely showing the entire landscape, I turned
My heart gaped at the horrid beasts that were supposed to be ****** and burned
Making eye contact with one's soulless, ink drizzled eyes, I began to hurt
These beings weren't meant to cause physical pain, but to drive my spiritual body into their world of no return
Refusing to listen to the message my inner self was trying to tell me, I ran towards the being with the soulless eyes
Reaching towards my reach, I grabbed the beings legs and took it down for the devil to die
Gouging out the marbles within the demon's head seemed much more simple than I thought as it refused to fight
Anger raging as I stuck my hand down it's throat attempting to pull out the closest thing the being had to a heart as it still refused to bite
Gazing upon it's empty soul through what once had been his eyes was an omnibus smile
The ******* was in extreme joy as it ate the negative energy up
Revolted, I froze except for my insides in which what only came out was bile
What was once disgust, morphed into grimace
I studied myself and noticed how I wasn't much different from him when it was finished
Now crying tears of what seemed to be the blood of the demon, a third eye was formed in the middle of my forehead showing how it was still committed
Voices screaming as if they were banshees were in my what seemed to be head
The torture and agony of what  it put me threw couldn't make me comprehend that it seemed to still be dead
The pain grew worse and worse as I begged for death to knock at my soul to put to rest until the emerging of a hand
A palm had ripped the skin from my back
The being's nails felt as if they were ripping my entire body
In what felt like a day, the entire demon emerged from me
The happiness from its inner cold soul blossomed as it heard me
Using the last ounce of strength I had, I called upon The Lord
The demon screamed of pain I couldn't even comprehend as the blast of noise ripped it's vocal chords
The Lord is the one to lean on when desperate, content, and even fine
Face death with the will of kind
Especially when you're  fighting within your mind

If you cracked open my skull,
(and discerned past the alarming indirect realism
Featuring a ******, cerebrospinal fluid-y cranium,
Hewed and fractured crudely
And gushing like a cascade),
You'd unearth a disturbing array of mechanisms,
Filed, packaged, and manufactured,
Well intentioned lies and repulsive judgement,
Distressing reality and optimism open to ridicule
Self-interested altruism and desperate defenses,
An assortment of fallible hope and fallacious despair,
All nearing a point
Of sudden, piercing tragedy.
For I, too,
Am devoid of worth and life,
I, too, have done nothing
Worth life's light

I wanted to tell you that
this cut on my leg
wasn't a shaving accident.
That the beads of rubies
weren't from clumsy fingers,
but from strong trembling hands.
I thought I'd tell you that
I enjoyed the way it felt,
the idea that I was alive --
that string of scarlet pearls
was proof that I had a heart,
that it still beat --
no matter how faint.
I wanted to wear the red jewels
around my neck
as some sort of prize.
No,
as some kind of evidence
that I
          was
                 not
                       hollow --
                 I'm
         still
here.
Try to wipe them away,
but they only become
one of Van Gogh's strokes --
beautiful.
meaningful.
I am alive.

I see her tears
She lost her mom
Maybe one day
She'll be back
But for now
She's gone
With her mom

Death, I blame you
For this
And more heartache
Oh, I haven't forgotten
You took something
That belonged to me
When I was young, innocent and naïve

You've been bullying
people for too long
And now that I've grown
Meet your death sentences
My shape shifting pen:
Riptide!

I write about my pain and my sorrow,
and I try not to think,
about any bliss or happiness I may feel inside.

I fill myself with hate and despair,
I dwell upon the dark,
and not let any light shine in.

I do not let myself know love nor hope,
for I cannot let myself feel,
in this backwards, mirror world.