A lovely she is..
I watch her all day.

From dawn to next day,
I wait in dismay.

Each sunset I stare,
My white window's view.

I can not find her.

Each night i spent,
And of each day's lament,
More i want to know,
The meaning of the white,
Window engraved.

This white wall ,
And the white window.

It's too shiny,
The bright coating.
Its viscous colour,
Dripping ,
drop by drop,

I can't seem to break by,
Halting and trying,
rock by rock.

I do have a chair to rest,
But I wait for her,
standing,
By window's view ,
& I wait.

I do have the other wall,
I do have another window,
But I can't seem to make myself
Break through the white wall,

While by the moonlight,
I stare her shadows engraved.

Why this white wall,
Seems a storm to the
Beautiful rainbow,
And if i all i could is wait
Then Why is this white window?

A lovely she is..
I watched her all day.

A vulture flies over the hospital.
After a meal, we never feel full.
We eat it all, but it’s never enough.
A few weeks in here will make you feel tough.
Stronger than iron, but weaker than will.
Today, you are strong, but wait until
They change your meds, give you the wrong drug.
It’ll leave you angry, like a violent ****.
Wait one more week, wait one more day.
Stay here forever, it’s better that way.
They give you warmth, and food to eat,
All of your meds, a bed to sleep.
But you cannot stay, your time here is done.
Look back at the window, the vulture is gone.

Face of light
Guide me through hell
In the depths of the night
Release me from this spell

Reflected on the moon
I will be reminded through the journey
Every time I think of you
And why can’t it be sooner?

Embodiment of light,
Show me how you do it right
Teach me how to shine,
How to act, how to write.

Clearly, I am inclined in some way
This strange road led by desire
Bumpy rocks will try to stray
But when I look up
I know I am headed the right way.

drowning
the once ceaseless erupting globules of life on the surface
grow less frequent
lachrymosity ebbs out of your lungs
like a bleeding wound
your body goes limp
but you feel somewhat at peace

the weight of the water silences the voices
it envelops you
into an emancipating abyss in between what seems like life and death

suddenly
you are flung out of the water
your body arches
as air fills your lungs once again
eyes shoot open
you see the world as it is
you see what lies beyond the crater of darkness.

you get a taste

before you are pushed down again
forced into the depths
even though you want to live,
even though you want to experience joy
but the shackles of the abyss are put on you once again

this time
instead of serenity
all you feel is longing
your body aches to see the world again
you are denied
until once again your crater becomes all you ever knew
the darkness feels comforting.

but that's not the way it works.
we don't get comfort.

you are flung between the world and the abyss
over and over again
as the clutches of the demon in your mind
torments you with the knowledge
the knowledge of knowing what you can never truly have.

because you and i?
well the abyss is all we ever knew.

You know those
Moments of
Silence
In between the
BANGING
Of hammers?
The:
BANG

BANNG


BANG

BANG


BANG

That’s kind of
What my
Life
Feels like right now

They say…  
it wasn’t messy  
until the cat.  

The cat just wanted to play,  
but somewhere along the way,  
she ran into a human like us.  

Together, they began  
to play with the red string.  

They say…
before the human,  
there was no method to the string—  
just thrown about,  
knotted inexplicably.  

But then man came  
and saved the day.  
The string and cat said, “Hooray!”  

They say…
man showed up  
with rules:  
“The string isn’t a toy,  
it’s a tool.  
Throwing it about  
would be cruel.  
People could trip,  
and one day,  
the string could rip.”  

They say…
they all agreed  
to move the string  
to a different corridor,  
behind a big door.  

“Any questions?”  
A little hand rose up.  
She was lost in the crowd,  
a girl I hadn’t noticed before.  

Her question sent ice to my core:  
“Then why is there red string  
all over the floor?”  

I snapped,
“There is no red string  
on the floor!”  
If they hear her question
Will it be safe for us anymore
The air grows heavier
Much too heavy to breathe
The sounds of heavy footsteps
Now growing louder than a horn
I’ve never heard knocks like this before
Why does it sound like a war
on the other side of the door?
All for a little girl?
Is that what all of this is for?

But then I looked down  
and barely began to see—  
the red string  
had tangled me.  
And by scolding the girl
Instead of letting it be
Have I sentenced her to a fate
just like me?

Too stunned,  
to speak,  
too stuck,  
to move—  

Her soft knowing eyes met mine
With the truth that mine were too calloused to realize
What They say…
might be too good  
to be true.


They say…
they lived happily ever after
They say…. “They will never all question us anyway.”
They say…