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s Jul 2016
They shove me full of pills because something is wrong with me. I am a broken carnival ride and the pills are supposed to be the mechanic. They are supposed to fix me. My head is going insane. You don't care. The difference between me and you is I am in my bathroom and you are ******* someone in bed. The difference between me and you is I want to die and you want to live. The difference between me and you is I am dismantling myself and you are trying to ride me. I'm broken. The mechanics are making it worse. But don't worry the insurance covers it. The insurance covers my head. Can I lay my head on a soft train track? Insurance would you cover that for me? 4 5 6 pills. How will I feel, can someone ride me yet? I am destroying myself.
This is hella ******* up and just a rant.
Medicated
Let me write
Trail your spine
With ink tonight

Ink of lust,
Love
Tongue as pen
Let me write
Until the end

Let me dot
Commas, indent
Let me chapters
Novels
Let
Me with print
And script
To write
Let me so
That
I just might

Fall asleep
In fairytale
There upon
A wishing well
There in curve
Upon your back
That I, your heartbeat
Ticker tack
Dreaming, lulled
By every beat
Let me write
So I may sleep

To Awaken
Wrapped
Within your arms
A story of
A lover's charm
And so a kiss
A silent stare
Let me write
So I may care
So I may softly
Linger there
High upon your every kiss

Medicated
Blissful
This
Writing
Please just let me write
So I May
Whisper
Sweet good nights
Till dawn
Till Sun
Sweet rain doth fall
And fog
Does tease
No thoughts, no more
Let me write

The end.....

©MV
KILLME Sep 2015
Anxiety meds.
Meds for depression.
They make me feel numb,
make me lack expression
Drake Brayer Feb 2015
I awake to the smell of concrete and rusted metal. Before the holes I call eyes open, the dank air embraces me. Fills my lungs like water and holds me tight as a forgotten lover. The tomb is silent but for the steady drip of water. A silent cacophony standing in stark defiance to the quiet that surrounds it. A futile display. My eyes flicker but do not open. Dark suns encased in a greater blackness. They're bountiful rays oppressed by the night that will not relinquish its hold. But a crack is made, and the dull grey of life seeps through. I am greeted by an empty hallway, forlorn and devoid of consciousness. A puddle has gathered in its centre, an odd and misshapen thing. A rustic inkblot that Rorschach would have been happy to give employ. I wondered if I could reach it through the bars. Touch it, and vicariously immerse myself in its freedom.  In its possibility. Suddenly, the grate of iron on iron filled the halls. The shriek of metal and old hinges joined the chorus, until finally, only steps remained. Calm, solemn things whose leisure exerted authority upon the air. My mind urged me to rise, but my body lacked the will to comply. Dark eyes like hungry fires greeted the stranger, dressed in fine dapper if not damp wear. His eyes were as winter, blue orbs of chipped ice. His lips formed a smile and in it betrayed their lack of sincerity. There was a violence to his gaze, an unsuppressed furry. His lips were moving, words were being spoken yet I could barely grasp a whisper. I forced myself to focus, to return from that inner retreat, and slowly, the noises of the world came back to me. His voice faded into being, a surprisingly pleasant baritone "... your arraignment is to be set a month from now, the retrial will commence shortly there after and you will be placed in a holding facility till the remainder of the trial is concluded. A noticeably finer arrangement then solitary. Any questions?"
A small part of me chuckled, the sound was hoarse, grim, more like the wheezing cough of a dying man than a laugh. He seemed to smile, a severity to the sincerity of the gesture. As if cruelty lay just beyond the border of his lips. They were moving again, morphing and contorting into different shapes. The noises they made were a blur though, fading like the sound of a car disappearing into the distance. Its slow engine purring out of existence.
gabby dial Nov 2014
You know why I wanted you to kiss me?
Because maybe you could feel what I feel when I hold your hand
I wanted you to kiss me because I don't know how else you'll understand.
I know it's not what you want and I'm sorry I even tried
I just wanted you to kiss me, I wanted you to hold me tight
I guess the moment wasn't right.
But here I am second guessing
I don't know what to do with myself
I'm laying in bed regretting
Repressing
Focussing on breathing before I just call it a night
pixels Oct 2012
Step on the scale
fidget
fidget
"Three Digits!"
f a t

Shuffle back to Your Room
p r i s o n  c e l l

8:00AM
Drag yourself to the main desk
The Morning Medication line is long today
m i n d l e s s

Pretty pills fill your palm
They have changed colors today
They are all shapes, large and colorful
c y a n i d e

PLUNK PLUNK PLUNK

They dive into your empty stomach
Swim in acid and glide through your veins

Emotional Morphine-
You await the glorious numbness
s a n i t y

and still you crave the blade.

*b l o o d
Written on 9.24.2012, while in the psychiatric hospital.
Amy Perry Jun 2014
The eyes have it.
All three of them.
Spreading consciousness.
An egg cracking
With an encouraging moan.
The clash between personalities
To inherit the throne.
Hasty overthrow.
Short-lived lifespan.
Sedated again,
Chemically, internally,
Where did you go?
You're there.
You're inside of me.
Back in your egg,
Calling "come find me.
I'll come out and play,
And give you more meaning,
Daft, sedated you stay,
Until I come out and play."
How many nesting dolls
Does this egg have?

— The End —