I know you promised to be always be true, never leaving your ideal diplomacy
Yet here you stand, half naked and breathing sporadically
I'll let you play me like every other nobody who just wants to touch my body
You'll **** me over and leave but I'll still thank you, wiping my mouth on my sleeve
Cause I can't help but wonder where you'd go if you didn't have me

My mind begs a simple question
Does your chastity know just where you are tonight
Does your single life know that you'd much rather lay between my thighs
Cause everyone knows what you want except for you, so use me gently
Please kiss me numb, then you can let me down and break me some

Maybe I'm just overreacting, but the way you let her climb all over you says otherwise
Perhaps I've misunderstood what you meant by cutting all ties
Cause you seemed so very comfortable with resting your hands on my body
You don't know what you're into except when you're ******* around with me in someone else's bedroom
I don't know what I've done to deserve getting so brutally slew, so please just **** and leave me tonight
Even if we both know you'll never fully look me in the eyes after you've finished between my thighs

So when you refuse to kiss me but later lay your hands on me, I'll pretend I'm surprised
I understand you have personal boundaries, I can never force a greedy man to give
So when you brush a fingertip against my lips, I should just smile
Because heaven forbid I should try to extract what I want from an unforgiving heart
Because you're happy to use me when you want some late night company, careless when you leave me to seek new
Through all this I have to wonder
You seemed so  wed to these ideals of being single but
Are you still married?

Drip, drip, drip
Wishes...
Drip, drip, drip.

You think you're safe?
Think you gave me
the slip?
You thought you'd end
on a guilt trip?
Whip, whip, whip.

Whip, whip, whip
Dishes-
Crack, crack, crack.

All this - my blood.
Whip, whip, whip.
You think we're buds-
Whip, whip, whip.

The odds were stacked.
So you stacked back.
You said I lacked,
with a back hand
smack.
Whip, whip! 

I spin the plates.
I spin the plates.
You knock them down.
I spin the plates.
Crack, crack.

Because you say,
I must obey.
I'd rather pray
for sunless day.
Drift through the dark,
night, endless, stark.
Now on my mark,
Head down, *** out-
Whip, whip, whip.

Drip.
Drip.
Hate fills.
Hate steals.
Drip, drip.

Why couldn't you
just do like you
should?
Why aren't you
doing some good?
Whip, whip;
I can't take it.
Drip, drip.
Why can't you just
let me go?

I spin the plates.
You knock them down.
I spin the plates.
Crack, crack.

When you fall out of love after a year
and try to end the relationship so you don't lead them on,
you don't really expect the other person to try to **** them self.

Manipulation isn't fun.
Especially when you are the only one who sees it.

Staying in the relationship for a whole extra year when it should've ended when the fallout happened, is mindblowing.

I didn't want to stay. I wanted to be free.
I wanted to do what I wanted.
I wanted to hang out with my own friends and go out without the guilt of leaving my significant other alone.
I couldn't leave the house unless they were at work or with friends.
No one sees it the way I do.

I asked for space and got in response "I don't know how long I can do that"

Well that's nice but this isn't about you.
Everything was always about you.

I finally ended it and I never felt so free.

What happens

when you have come to the realisation that

the sweet strumming of the strings you thought he played

was not that of your heart,

but the calculated skill of a master puppeteer.

breathe, he tells me to breathe.
his features transform.
kindness dissipates,
darkness remains.
instinct screams not to trust,
not to reason.

i reach for the door,
he slams it shut.
i ache to scream, cry, run.
anything but to stay,
to feel the pressure of that moment.
but i am not allowed.

funny-- i know my place.
i am free to walk away,
free to stay.
but the consequences are what
shape my behavior,
train me,
enforce his rules.
his needs.
my mind is an echo chamber to his words.
sometimes, i do not consider
his needs, his feelings.
sometimes, i mean to hurt him
with my truth.

tell me then why i swallowed
my fears to please you,
to want this as much as i wanted to.
tell me then why i stayed
when you asked.

it would have been easier to sit still
if the caving in my chest did not
mimic cardiac arrest.
it would have been easier to behave
if the gradual onset of dread  
had not distracted me
from finding higher ground.

you had rules for me,
and i only began to understand
when i saw
that these rules
did not apply
to you.

you permitted yourself to be free
and i, weighed down by chains,
knew i was free to walk away,
but the consequences of
my character's attack
were too great a risk.
"a shame," you would say.
"i always thought you were a kind, sweet girl."
i was only the girl foolish enough to believe
it mattered what you thought.
my pride-- my Achilles heel.
you-- my muse of strained poetry.
i should have known better.

you smile,
tell me to breathe,
your fingers pressed
against my throat.
i say,
"okay
i will tear
out this throat
you sewed into my skin,
riddled with
ill-fitted vocal chords
never mine to begin with
to protect myself
from you.
i will have to learn
to speak again,
but at least
i will be the one
speaking
at all."

my only regret-- thinking i couldn't break free.
your only regret--  thinking i wouldn't.

isn't that funny?

Lost and confused,
I walk all alone.
This dark empty place,
chills me to the bone.

It's to dark to see,
but I really don't care.
I can feel them around me,
as they sit and they stare.

The only sounds are my footsteps,
echoing off of the walls.
And my slow steady breathing,
which isn't helping at all.

My eyes are adjusting,
and I stand in disbelief.
I can see she's been busy,
robbing souls as a thief.

The puppets fill shelves,
and they clutter the walls.
With no dreams or passions,
and no lives at all.

I find what I came for,
on a shelf at the top.
Two small wooden figures,
I move towards them and stop.

I can feel her eyes,
burning holes in my back.
And I can't help but smile,
at the feelings I lack.

“You're not supposed to be here,
and I want you to leave”.
But I ignore all her words,
all her lies and deceits.

I grab the small puppets,
and slowly turn around.
She stands there and watches,
not making a sound.

You ruined my life,
and the life of my friend.
We do not belong here,
among fools with no end.

Her smile grows cold,
and her jaw starts to clinch.
Her eyes become fire,
as I move toward the bench.

I turn my back to her,
as the fumes burn my eyes.
And as she realizes what's happening,
she's starting to cry.

I turn back once more,
as the room starts to fade.
whispering "hell won't be big enough,
for the army you've made."

I stop at the door,
and light a small match.
I toss it behind me,
into the gasoline patch.

Sunlight hits my face,
and I still hear her screams.
Then I wake up in bed,
it was all just a dream.

I try to catch my breath,
as I roll to my side.
And I sit there and stare,
at two wooden eyes.

One looks just like you,
and the other like me.
My heart hits my stomach,
how could this be?

I turn on a light,
and I laugh as I stand.
Because they’re  both smiling,
and they're both holding hands...

My eyes are glass,
my chest is so cold.
My body is wood,
I just do as I'm told.

I used to be real,
with a heart and a soul.
I used to have friends,
now I do as i'm told.

My body won't move,
unless strings are pulled.
I can no longer speak,
I just do as I'm told.

My head is now empty,
it's harder to think.
I did have a name,
now I do as I'm told.

There are others like me,
on the shelves growing mold.
I see them around me,
and they do what they're told.

My master is coming,
and I hope she picks me.
But I hear her say no,
so I do as I'm told.

What happened to life,
all my dreams and my goals?
I no longer remember,
I just do as I'm told..