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Kai Nov 11
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I'm so ******* tired of overthinking
I'm so tired of everything
It isn't fair
Am I just a narcissist?
Am I someone that isn't interesting at all?
Please tell me
I'm trying to change myself to be more acceptable
What can I do
To please you?
I'M TRYING
PLEASE ACCEPT THAT

It is tiring when I have to listen to someone I dislike rant to me everyday
I'm tired of crying
I'm tired from school
I'm tired of drawing
I'm tired from crocheting
I'm tired of everything
Except writing my own thoughts
Emotions
Emotions I can't even detect well enough for my own sanity
Yet the strongest ones are stressed
And tired

I'm trying to adapt to other people
Like I'm an alien from another planet
Everything feels so new
Yet I feel so old
And rusty
I feel so weird
Disgusting
Grimy
I don't take care of my body well
I torture it
I hate my low self-esteem
I hate it so much
I wish I was carefree
Just like my sister
I know this might just be a phase in life
But it feels like a phase of hell

Chúa ơi...
Just release me already
From this hell
I'm begging you
An uncalled vent, but I invited it here because I needed it. I just need a long break.
JD Apr 2023
Being with you makes me feel stupidly in love.
                                  Being with you put a stupid smile on my face.

When you don't show,
                   I feel so stupid,
                                                                        for being so crazy about you!
Too much happiness is not always a good sign.
i
Serving time
Doing lines
Making prison bars
Out of razor blades and credit cards
The only clean thing bout me are my arms
Cuz evreything i do harms Others or my self
Yelling for help
Where no one can see me
Tappin out S.O.S's
Who's gonna hear me
Swingin back and forth teeter and totter
Don't like myself
Wish i were hotter
Wanna be like thotties
i mean hotties
Rotting inside out with silicone gel
Maybe then i'd love myself
Don't even know what's real and what's fake
Cuz the emotions i hate
Don't even exist
It's just some *******
i created for attention
But what was the question?
When will i write "i" in the uppercase
TyeniWrites May 2020
A glance at her face is all it takes
Can ruin her entire day
Everyday she feels ugly
Slowly killing her inside
Dear God a clear skin,she begged
She just wants to feel pretty
Shell May 2020
Do you not see you're just as important? What makes you think less?
Is it because of your brown hair when you wish it were blonde?
Or your hair straight rather than curly?
Your brown eyes that should be crystal blue?
All you want is to fit in. But life made you different.

Yes, you have your hourglass shape. Your small waist, and large bottom. Maybe that's what makes you most proud.
Your proud of what everyone admires most? Shouldn't you be proud of what you admire most?

But you choose to admire the bad qualities.
Your larger nose, the pointy chin you have, and the way your face scrunches when you laugh. Why must those things be ugly?
Or those embarrassing qualities you label like your laugh, the way you stand, the way you walk. Even, the voice you show.

You're beautiful because you're you. Your brown curly hair dragged down alongside your golden skin. Your honey-dipped eyes when exposed to the sun. Your dry skin that keeps your tone flat accompanied by your oily skin that gives you structure. Your laugh that triggers another laugh, which ends in endless amounts of laughing.

Love is you, you are love.
axstrohostonaut Jan 2020
The drums in my ears, the galloping of horses right behind my back,
I stand looking at the murky thick fog, with the word ringing in my ears, "Attack!"
I stand still, pondering of what to do and why,
Pondering in my head, why don't I just die…

The black hooded riders gallop on their horses right behind me,
There is a legion of them, thick as smoke with no hope of being free,
Ravens screech above my head, smoke pours from my head, back and shoulders,
I want to reach out, want to give up with this feeling of me being crushed by a million boulders…

My head drums, my temples throb, my vision goes blurry and hazy,
My eyes cloud with a murky green color of insaneness, I'm going crazy,
I grab my sharp big knife, and start to stroke it absent mindly,
Meanwhile, I struggle on, with the hooded riders behind my back whle I stumble on-ward blindly…

I still have hope in my heart, as my feet carry me,
I look at the dim pale objects of people, walking happily and free,
While I… stumble in this murky thick fog, and behind me there is hooded figures with their swords,
The numbers so many of them, it's like black thick smoke, except of the figures there is hordes and hordes and hordes………

I fall on my knees, stumbling over ****** grass,
I see holy-water ahead, but the smoke atop my head tells me to pass,
Falling on my face, I give up, breathing hard and almost dead,
I give my last efforts, when a figure gallops up to me on a stallion and with it's sword just cleanly slices off my head…

The blood paints the grass, as my hand is holding the knife,
The blade is stabbed deep inside my chest, taking away my life,
My eyes go pale and my body stays motionless, in a death-like freeze,
The fog clears, the figures disappears as the smoke gets blow away by the soft gentle breeze......







~Mishka Wayz~
(The fog is caused by my thinking vision, the hooded figures are dark thoughts and wishes, the smoke above my head is my depressions, the Holy water is a friend who will really care about me, the boulders are the bad things that I remember I did in the past, and the Ravens are tauntings from my low-self esteem self)
Amanda Kay Burke Dec 2019
What is so wrong with me?
Why am I misunderstood?
Seems like all I ever cause is harm
I just want to do good

I push away from me
Asking myself why
Have become so hard to love
Own heart dares not try

Growing up many times was told
I should always be myself
Those same people tried
Sculpting me into someone else

By now realized I'll never
Be good enough that is clear to see
How could I ever be enough for the planet?
I'm not enough for me
Feedback?
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