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Eleanor Sinclair May 2019
You were mine
You were my words and my thoughts
The whisper in my ear
Singing to me a song only I was blessed enough to hear
But the melody faded,
Dissipated into nothing but a hum
Now I dully strain to make the song remain
Yet it has grown so quiet
That when I try, all I hear is rain
Eleanor Sinclair Apr 2019
I slowly forget the way you rubbed my skin
The way we snuck around
And all our sin
But as much as I say I’m moving on
It’s harder than it seems
Because to you I’m drawn
And all the thoughts that encompass me
Are simply of you
And what we used to be
I miss the bliss I felt from your lips
And the pump of adrenaline
When you’d grab my ribs
There’s something sacred about what we had
I can’t explain it
So good yet so bad

You were heaven
And I was hell
I miss you now
Even my soul I’d sell
To get you back for one more night
To lay with you
From dark till light
Eleanor Sinclair Apr 2019
I wish at the time I had told you how I felt
But I guess my guilt is stronger than I meant
You made my heart melt my love
But I couldn’t keep it safe
Like a bird taking flight it flew through empty space
And no matter how fast I ran I could never catch your wings
So now I train every day through the sun and the rain to catch up to the things I lost when you left
The only theft was me robbing myself of you by letting you go and repelling you slowly
I didn’t mean to push you away I just want you to stay but it gets easier by the day getting over you
Maybe it wasn’t mean to be but honestly I would gladly blindly follow you for eternity
Something about you tugs at my soul and I can’t seem to feel whole without you
I know it will never be you and me but I’ll chase the wind daily until just maybe I can catch a glimpse of your soaring wings above me
Eleanor Sinclair Apr 2019
If the world is water
Then I am the flame
If something goes wrong
I am always to blame
I fear for my life
In this miserable place
I wonder at night
If I’m merely a disgrace

In empty moments I cry
Tears made of ash
And in the mornings
They litter the floor like trash

No one is interested
No one cares to see
That the fire burning inside
Is what makes me, me

I try to convince them
That I’m worth the fight
I may burn you in the end
But in the dark I am your light
Eleanor Sinclair Mar 2019
I tell myself not to love you
I say I'm done for good
But then I think of you
And to forget you, I wish I could
I've loved you for so long
And so deeply and so fond
I always seem to lose myself when singing to our song
I often imagine I'm with you in my waking time
It's even better in my dreams
Your presence feels real, sublime
I kissed you two nights ago at a quarter past 3:00
And when I woke to find your lips weren't there on mine
I sighed and felt my heart was heavy
Eleanor Sinclair Mar 2019
My tears are liquid ice
Cold to the touch and full of vice
They symbolize what we had
And the way we were so good yet so bad
I loved you with all my being
Now I am stuck here daydreaming
Of a time when it was your hand I was holding
Before my mistakes stepped in and it started molding
Into something different than before
I don’t know what the future has in store
But oh how I hope to God we can be Us again
I guess I’ll just continue to wonder when
Eleanor Sinclair Mar 2019
You came back into my life and I couldn’t take the pain
I love you even more
Yet your feelings for me wane
You used to feel the same
And it makes me feel insane that I still feel this way
Just ******* **** me
There’s no other way
Eleanor Sinclair Mar 2019
“One day”
She spoke softly,
“It’ll be just you and me”

“And one day”
He uttered earnestly,
“We’ll have eternity”
Karijinbba Mar 2019
Sometimes truth is
stranger than fiction
cold and cruel as a grave
and flowering tragic
circumstances
or living in denial
is a quick sweet fix
causing irreparable
lifetime misfortune
Timely revealing
a terrible truth
to innocents
can be traumatic
yet tender eye opener
but utterly kindly
necessary to avert
greater future calamity
and misjudgements
I know this truth
in my own flesh
I hid a cruel truth
not to cause painful
suffering to self
and other victims
my own children
and I was hurt
the most I lost it all.
so speak timely
get counseling go public
living in denial
of unexamined
traumatic past events
never escaped
the laws of fate
and ill karma
It all come back
to hunt me
revealing
the light of truth
no matter how
dark its sting
it did set me free
but I lost
the companionship
of close loving
family members
in their cold diselief
awake be aware
an evil doer's skim
to continue future
character assassination
slandering oldest
witness victim
will perish obliterated
only in the light
of timely
simple truth revealed
A dearly beloved
survivor's courage
and foresight
to stop living
in foolish denial
will also end
in much needed
self healing
~~~~~~~~~
By Karijinbba
All rights reserved.
revised 03-16 2019.
Don't let it happen to you.
Reveal the light of truth
no matter how dark its sting.
Ending up mis-understood
misjudged unknown
is an injustice
sad and very
lonesome
existence.
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