I refuse to be the puppet
That you dangle on the string,
I refuse to be the person
You always count on for things.

I refuse to have everything
Dumped on me,
I refuse to always be the one
Begging on her knees.

I refuse to be lied to,
Purposefully ignored;
I refuse to be the one
Who is left out in the storm.

I refuse to be left out as refuse;
Worthless, forgotten trash
That you threw out your window,
Scattering my soul to ash.

At 12:20 pm today ...
love looks like
wishing
wanting
and letting go.
wake up,
let go.
sleep,
let go.
wake up,
let go.
sleep,
let you go.
it’s never ending
...until it does,
but what will that look like?
will this ending look like you?

... love today looks like
wishing
wanting
and letting go... of you baby .

read a love story without a happy ending
2. drown yourself in her lavender perfume until you hate the scent
3. play her favorite song on repeat enough times that you change the station when it comes on the radio
4. learn the stars you once danced under and realize that some were dead
5. understand only you can walk away
6. scroll through your camera roll and delete the photos of her you didn't take
7. then delete those too
8. fight against every instinct
9. don't look back
10. say 'i love you' for the last time
11. then say 'i hate you' for the first
12. realize both are true

i hope that you see the sun
in your reflection on the lake
and think of the moment
you promised to be
with me forever
before you
left me at the altar.

this is what forgiveness
looks like.

And it goes with undying gratitude
That our disagreement has set in motion
An unyielding paradox.
That perhaps has chipped away more than
we care to admit.
Generally speaking the process of removing mask
from face.
A necessary belief that doesn't present inferiority of wrong doing.
But instead defines the basic principle definition in the same breath.
That I am deep rooted in my belief & any further denial
would lead to my complete & utter ignorance.
That I have seen what you've done & now believe the mask
that is now chipped away has become nothing but ash in the wind.
And I forever grateful.
With undying gratitude

Racing through yesteryears panting from endless roam
A futile journey of wishful thinking
A yearning  for more trophies

Racing  through  yesreryears
Pondering over questions unanswered
A wasted time of deep reflection
A heart desiring to be free

Racing through yesteryears
Wondering why he had no wins
Wounds unhealed,pain unending
All because he keeps digging the past