To whom it does pertain
There are so many words I could use
To describe to the world
My love and feelings

I who was silenced by emotions
For years…
Now I find the veil of silence
Being replaced with a veil of colorful adjectives
And verbs

I have always known
The words
They never came to me when I needed them most
This was your fault
And my burden
But I digress

In spite of all I’ve been through
I still look back to memories past
Sigh, and say
“I miss you”

I still hear you randomly
See your half cocked Joker’s smile
That comforts strangers
Because to you
There was no such thing.

Then I remember your hair
It was an onyx forest of infinite curls
How I loved raking through it
With my senses of smell and touch

It was always there
The smell of 3 flowers
It was still there
Even when you cut your forest.

Then there were your arms
A warm hug you passed around to anyone
It brings me to tears now
I miss it so…

Finally, there was your mouth
That accent that charmed the world
Your words
Funny, unique, silly, thoughtful
Emotional damaging, bitter, slightly offensive, obscene

Yet we all remember your laugh
And your driving…

Though wherever you are
I hope you found true peace and freedom
It’s hard to tell where you’ve actually gone.
I’d like to think you’re telling ***** jokes to Jesus.
Like he’s never heard them before.

Mid-day light shoulders it's way through my bedroom window
And I find spring like a letter from an old friend
She's changed, she's traveled, you should hear the things she's seen
I try my best to talk about her, the flowers she's grown and the skin she's kissed
I worry if she asks about me I won't have anything to say
I didn't mean to stay stagnant for so long, it's just I worry about falling too in love with life
I've always lost everything I've loved too much

Dear Dad,

I'm sorry for not being faithful to you.
I'm sorry that I defy your teachings
I shouldn't have done what I did
I should have stop when I can
Now I can't turn back
Not on my own that is.
I'm asking for your help
Please save me
From the chains that I put myself into
I want you back in my life
Please show me the way
I have shattered heart
filled with the stains of Sin
I hated my Father
He has scared me in many ways
I forgave him and showed him
Love and Mercy
Yet he just stepped on it like dirt
In every morning I'm afraid
to hear the sound of his sinful entertainment
to hear and see what he is doing
It was awful, disgraceful and makes me feel furious
but the only thing I could do
Is to shut my eyes, plug in my earphones and cry
hoping that the sounds of music
can drown the dark torn that is piercing my heart
I hated him, I despise him
But God..
He is my Father
and I love him
I don't want him to go to hell
I don't want to go there either
So God please hear my prayer
I humble myself to you
Truly I am not worthy to be in your presence
But I beg for your mercy
Please forgive our sins
Cleanse us from inside out
Clear our hearts from anger and lust
and make us see your ways
Help us to live by them
And give us courage to never go back
to this darkness that clouded our mind
lured us so far away from you
Fill us with your Holy Spirit
and help us to honor your every word
not for my family, not for my Pastors
but for you, my one and only Father

Jesus..
Here is my life
Take it as a living sacrifice
Mold me according to your will
and May you be seen in every corner of my heart,
in every corner of my home and my family

This I write and humbly pray
in your name Father
Jesus Christ, Amen.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I wanted to be a sunflower
Writing to you.

Dear you,

I felt that our connection bloomed in the most random of winters

I was the sunflower who responded to your sunlight's kisses.
I remember I tried to instruct my stalky body to not forget the Feeling of you that pressed on to me that night.
It felted like sensations of signals that it was the season of spring.

I had forgotten the feeling  of being a shy lonely dormant seedling.

You've stimulated every cell in my body to mustard a seed of courage in the pit of my stomach,
To root myself down with the audacity to germinate myself out of My cocooned lifestyle in the hecticness of Christmas time.
All I want is to be enveloped in your halo of warmth.
To feel you infinity,
To be touched in forever and
Dipped in a painting to be just left right next to you
My starry night.

Fit
Wit
Ze
Taxi
Forming these words
Like we formed our
L-O-V-E

Vent
Sent
Yo
Foh
Every letter so carefully chosen
Like every word is so carefully spoken
Put a tile there
Win a smile here
The game is oh slow
But it reveals the words we long to let
G-O

L
O
V
EYE
  O
  U

This is not honest work.
We must lie, deceive, embellish, thieve.
But are they not all the more enchanted by it?
Do not fool yourself with this sense of honesty.
Instead, trade that in for earnesty.