Energy draining,
Pulled from a high.
Down the depths of your discontent.

Trust is gone.
What's left?
Insecurities, accusations, disrespect.
Afraid of hurting,
Afraid of truth;
Afraid of the one thing we need.

Letting go of all that's gone
Time to live, breathe, believe.

I come to you every night to forget about the night before.
Convince myself that you'll be different this time, better this time.
Still, I hear myself being ignored,
See myself being overlooked,
Feel myself being pushed out,
We're really just *******.

So Please
stop with the "I love you" 's
do not hold me while I sleep,
do not look at me when I see you outside your bedroom,
and do not kiss me in public.
Let me go a day without your alcoholism on my mind.
      Let me be free from this bind you hold me in so tight.

And I'm not ready to have you...
touch me
hold me
enamor me
because once I do,
Once I let you in
I don't think that I will
ever be able to let go,
To let you leave  me.
As leaving is inevitable.


-Indigo Morrison

I wasn't sure what it was at the time. Unfortunately,  now I know. Time to start healing myself and know that I was never the problem. Sometimes when you are amazing and caring you get taken advantage of.

Goodbye hurts more if you fight it. Healing in acceptance.

Why does it hurts so much to let go of things that aren't ever yours at the first place?

Goodbyes* are the hardest,
but *love alone
is not
enough,
so
goodbye,
love.

I walked in and took my place at the bar waiting a bit impatiently for the bartender. After a few minutes she came I order a pbr and a shot of whiskey. my shot stings going down but I take a large sip of my beer and it sooths. I talk to some people for a bit but I can't help but look for you. I glance at  the barstool I know you rest and i see you. From the looks of it this may be your 5th nightcap of the evening. And I'm promised it won't be your last. We meet eyes. You gaze at me the same way I, for you. I walk over and give you an I - miss - you hug. He's familiar will thoes. We jabber on about nonsense and and laugh at the strange curly-haried man dancing in the corner. God I love his laugh. I order a few more pbrs and a couple more shots.. my whiskey curauge has me blurting out if he would like to stay with me after all has closed. He says he's usual answer. And for just a split second I wonder if my options were much better asked after he has had a couple of caps or if he would say yes regardless?.. some days I'm unaware. We leave and it's as if nothing has changed between us. The two of us walk to his place stopping for beer no less. Tipsy as we are were acting very silly skipping around, making strange noises at one another. We just go back to the two free spirited people simply infatuated with one another. And I'm flying in bliss. I sit on the bed and look at him. Memorizing his movments. He moves so beautifly so gracefully.  He hands me an IPA,  the way he's eyes meet mine is breathtakingly lovely.  And in that moment, I could look at this handsome, complicated,  loving, courageous man forever.

In the grand scheme of things
This won't matter.
In the grand scheme of things
This will seem so small.
In the grand scheme of things
I may forget you.
In the grand scheme of things
This won't matter at all.

It’s been months since I saw
your face, or touched
your skin, and felt your
embrace.
It’s been months now, since you
looked at me
with that playful look in your eye;
months since you held my hand,
months since you were by my side.

There are no photographs
of you and I -
you are, now, but a ghost;
a mere memory in the fleeting
past, you were gone so fast,
we didn’t last and I..
I’d be lying if I said,
if I said I didn’t try.

I did, I tried
my **** near hardest
and I cried
because you were the farthest
thing out of reach that I could never
seem to grasp a hold of.

You were always running,
r u n n i n g
r
u
  n
   n
    i
     n
      g
away
from me
away
from us
away
from anyone
or anything
you thought you might one day love enough
to hurt you
and break you down.
And so you slowly left,
and walked away,
held your head high,
without a sound.