I remember when I started drinking
myself to excess and I thought of you
how you didn't deserve such a **** friend
who couldn't keep their life from spiraling

I protected you the only way I knew how
pushing you away hurt but it was right
though I felt like you were, at that moment,
the last string tethering me to existence itself

I knew I was no good for you the way I was
though I wanted to call or text dozens of times
tell you about getting in to school or how
I had both fallen in love (and lost them entirely)

it was easy to go back to friendship
we're both the same people
we both love and care about each other
I don't miss what we had, because it's still here

you ever meet someone and think... yeah.
they're worth breaking my heart over.

you have been in a hard place for too long
your unhappiness is a dark alley
whether it was a bad left or turn wrong
you are now wandering through death valley

you never wanted this, you say aloud
closing your eyes and waiting for an end
until the day you seize heavens and clouds
and the nightmare itself, I watch you fend

see you rebel against your binding chains
the taste of sweet defiance on your lips
a revolution shoots through every vein
insurgency whispers from every tip

now your days become yours, and yours alone
while I marvel and watch you take your throne

you loved wild flowers
like lavender
intense purple silk
against your edges
I watched you bloom
your petals opaque
brilliance spills like dew
intensity and fearlessness
a spirit so wild and bold
that it doesn't care about
who it touches or hurts
you say wildflowers have
no thorns but I could've sworn
these cuts didn't exist before you

you're easy to love
I'm easy to leave

you spoiled the ending of our book
but I wasn't ready to stop reading

I'd rather lose you
than the argument

you once called me your dream girl
I was terrified that some day you'd wake up

we slide through the grey
our eyes and words are at play
though our bodies sit still
filled feelings always spill
I miss the area I belong
even though it was wrong
salt and freckles on your skin
all the spots my lips have been
you always felt right to me
joined by our esprit
friendship and tension
you were of me, an extention
you held my hand and heart
and even though now apart
I loved you the way a lover should
the only way I ever could
with everything I had to give
I found in you a reason to live
you complicated me
you extricated me
I am grateful, though you are gone
and every day I dwell on
the feelings I have for you
and the space that between us grew