you once called me your dream girl
I was terrified that some day you'd wake up

we slide through the grey
our eyes and words are at play
though our bodies sit still
filled feelings always spill
I miss the area I belong
even though it was wrong
salt and freckles on your skin
all the spots my lips have been
you always felt right to me
joined by our esprit
friendship and tension
you were of me, an extention
you held my hand and heart
and even though now apart
I loved you the way a lover should
the only way I ever could
with everything I had to give
I found in you a reason to live
you complicated me
you extricated me
I am grateful, though you are gone
and every day I dwell on
the feelings I have for you
and the space that between us grew

I wish I could take your pain away
plant a garden of sunflowers someday
whisper I love you and that I'll stay
read to you while beside me, you lay
but day after day
I see the way you fray
how her words shatter and slay
but for some reason, you stay
at her whim, you obey
I felt your heart once stray
but you continued to delay
the inevitable, you downplayed
your unhappiness and dismay
I wish I could take back and unsay
the time I called 'us' a foolish cliché,
the smoke filled night at the cabaret
how late the dusk crept on the day-
we laid under stars in the milky way
talked about feelings and our soirée
your touch on my skin, like foreplay
looking back, you were my gateway
but for you, I was just another weekday
...and we both knew you'd never stay

your discomfort is my greatest pleasure
I smirk when you shiver
shift uncomfortably just a sliver
don't worry honey, I'm a giver

your silence is my favourite sound
I giggle when I catch you off guard
or plant quiet kisses on your lips, hard
you look at me with eyes starred

your pain is my happiest feeling
I am warmed when I give you an ache
and I can feel you underneath me, quake
it's my thirst you always slake

and honey, you're a giver

you have me trained to do
every little thing that pleases you
I disobey and you ring a bell
but wrong from right, I can tell

I am not for you, I know
you and I apart will grow
you took your leave from my life
I wish you only good days and nights

please, don't take my poetry as a sign
I'm aware you were never mine
some will touch your life with gold
and quickly leave you out to cold

my words are now for only me
and happy as a dog, I will be

your spark was so deep, intense and warm
you defied the gods and gave me your fire
I had wandered through frozen wilderness
couldn't remember feeling heat against ice heart
I melted, held to your words and arms
didn't even consider that I could get hurt
your body gets used to always feeling cold
but the fire restored feeling in every finger tip
skin against skin where you healed my frostbite
so of course, when you left and the cold set in again
I felt the sharp curse of a million needles piercing me

your spark was so deep, intense and warm
that I never noticed when everything burned down
creating another frozen wasteland to navigate
the difference is now I remember that fire exists
even if I don't have a paper map to find you
or enough dry wood to hold a flame of my own
with the memory of you, I can recreate a fire
for the next person who has lost their light or spark

What is so bad about reality, conversations and confrontations?
Why can't you ever seem to mix these together?
How am I supposed to know what is so good about us,
if I can't even find the truth, the words and your heart?