It's June! Summer storms are upon us, and the smell of petrichor is the most potent this time of the year!
My sense of adventure is tingling, begging me to explore more than ever before.
Oh! I want to rob river banks with no intention of getting locked up. I want to skip steps like I am skipping stones. I want to hunt down caches like they are hidden treasure!
But how do i climb mountains, when the only knot i know how to tie is a noose?
June allow me the time to heal, let me be the man i always wanted to be!

C.M 1/6/2024

my birthday falls on father’s day...
how poetic

for a man
who gave me life
but never showed me how to live it

and when he came back
he still wasn't really there

he doesn't like who i am
as if love should come with conditions

i learned how to raise myself
from the ruins they left behind

funny...
how father’s day reminds me more
of what i survived than what i celebrate

April didn't speed by like February.
The days stretched into each other
manually reconstructing all the courage saved up
for May.
June stopped and waited, making sure I felt everything from the years before.
Every second coated in sorrow,
every timeless memory felt wasted.
I drag grief by my ankles
A trail of sentimentality that can not be cleaned
An energy that disrupts earth’s orbit.
I have no choice but to keep going forward.
July will be easier.
I’ll pause and sit in reflection of you
I’ll tell the stars not to scream your name
Summer will be just a season; not just three months without you plus more to come.

Happiness is transitory. Time slipped away in the blink of an eye. The plans we made, the dreams we've chased and the world we've built for ourselves crushed by the unforeseen event yet somewhere down the line it was expected that nothing remains the same. What stays the same at the end of the day is how true we stay to ourselves. To live life with owning our truth and story even if it means to walk on a journey alone.

the sun is out
and everything feels
not so important
in my mind that usually overflows with dread.

our laughter drowns out
the anxiety. your ***** iced tea
washes away the insecurities,
birds of a feather in constant replay.

the breeze brings with it
good news from the seas -
a promise of baptism
to wash away winter’s miseries.

the bees buzz with chatter
of blooming fields
lupines, tulips, and dandelions
filled with sweet nectar.

the pink-blue skies so vast,
it opens us up
a special vulnerability, a flood of confessions,
stitching us closer together.

i lay in the middle of this field
beside you and our new friends
a new found community -
i am grateful.

Four Crows fly over
the rear gunner ***** twice as hard
            to keep his mates
Gaps in his Wings
   from history with a Predator

Clammy weather
                       preceding
                 grey summer rainfall