On sight of us,
The light captured in an onlooker’s eyes
Naturally retains the gold shimmer
Of your god-like graces

While I,
Opaque with sad demeanor,
Only obstruct the view
Of the glory that is you.

True, the sight of me
Is not an ungainly hue;
My inner darkness is brilliant—
Almost as bright as you!

But in humor, voice, command, or smile,
Your shadow extends more miles.
This envy I bear turns my thoughts into fire—
O magnified refraction, burn this man they admire!

from the mind it flows
traveling through my veins
down my bones.
every part of me rages
for comfort and ignorance.
I erupt,
my emotions drain
oh I wish
I wish I cared less.

Did you think of me when you said you loved her?
Because I was the first person you ever said that about
and you were drunk as **** but you meant it,
you say you still do.
You say you still love me
but you don't want to anymore because
she's here now,
but if all you needed was someone to
be here
then I don't ******* understand
why I wasn't enough.
I don't ******* understand how you can say
you've loved me so extensively
and then love her more so quickly.
If loving her means letting me go
then what the **** did loving me mean?
You
are broken bottles
and I had started seeing my reflection in the shards of glass
and I wonder if she's ever seen me.
I wonder if she's seen the scars on your knuckles
from broken mirrors,
wonder if you would tell her
that I was the anger that put them there,
that I was the one who wrapped gauze around the wounds.
Have you ever cried over me?
Have you cried over me
like I have over you?
Has your chest been hollow
like mine has?
Have you hated yourself
like I do?
Have you felt guilt?
Your pain
is the pulsing of my heart,
I can only feel it
when I think about it
or when life is still for a moment
but it is always there
and I know this,
and it kills me.
You know nothing of
the aching you have caused me
because I keep it buried
in the bottom of my heart
along with the nights you fell asleep holding me.
Does it feel the same when you hold her?
Do you feel safe with her body pressed against yours?
Is she home yet
or are you still settling in?
Maybe if you give her that bracelet of mine
that you used to wear
she will seem more familiar.
I wonder if you realize she looks like me
or if that's something you did subconsciously.
Do you ever mistake her eyes for mine?
Do you ever think about my hands when you're holding hers?
Do you remember what my hands feel like?
Did you think of me when you said you loved her?

She resonates intimidation,
Playfully,
Air of confidence
Strewn within
Loose, effortless hair.
A smile warm
And attractive
Despite imperfect teeth.
Wings; black and inked
Make her eyes fly.

She's alive with voice,
Drawn images
Making their ways on to skin.
Alive with enthusiasm
For all things smoked.
And it's impossible
Not to light her cigarettes-
Which you give to her-
Without some sensation
Of love.
As you watch,
Her lips clasp the filter:
Pulling in fire to light
Her buzz.

You want to be a part
Of the same songs she sings.
You want her in your life
As a constant.
Almost like I know I used to be,
Except your craving for her
Doesn't diminish
After large doses of time.

I'm a novelty,
Sizzling out.

She's a drug,
An addiction
Just beginning.
And we both know
How you are
About those.

Red, red is the color of my hunger,
like the blood that flows from the cut
on my left ring finger. Like the rose that
withered on                  my front door step.
Like the color               of my cheeks or
the echoing of a bruise. Your hunger
is a darkness that is simply
nothing, like            a black hole of
constantly               collapsing stars
that shine                  like an angler fish’s
allure. Like                a deep, deep green
that feeds                   upon the beautiful.
Like a hypnotic            blue that envelopes
you in a trance              of one thousand pounds.

Guess I should have this:
your tool kit
one you'll truly miss.

To you I'm very ******;
I just had it!
Now you'll be sorely missed...

A pliers for thee, my dip ****
to pluck out your teeth
let your blood flow and drown in it.

I'll screwdriver your cavities
take 'em all away for you.
Farewell, to all of vanities!

No anesthesia for you, my loss.
Pain is my love for you, dear,
which you truly deserved, no love lost.