She sits still in a corner
He juts in to the room
White butterflies adorn her
He carries darkest doom


She keeps her feelings hidden
He knows of them and sighs
She cowers as was bidden
They both eye up her thighs


She loves those undeserving
Ignoble hands, he grasps
She holds his gaze unnerving
He takes without an ask


She mounts a throne of wounding
He spouts a light impure
She counts the nights in bruising
His will to shape contours


She bathes herself in shadow
He takes with him the light
She dreams it a fandango
He lets her think she's right


She makes her home the corner
He makes her house a hell
She smiles inside her torpor
He knows she'll never tell

Within the brain
Amidst the pain
Frequencies fade
Signals lost

Within the heart
Amidst the pain
Messages fade
Signals caught

Between the two
Amidst the pain
Thoughts fade
Signals gone

Within the soul
Amidst the pain
Decisions fade
Signals torn

Within my life
Amidst my pain
Life fades
Signals ignored

Lost between three
Past, present and future
Stuck in the middle
forever between the two

Trauma, trauma, trauma
Self defense mechanisms
Insecurities and flaws
Mental disadvantages

To put in simple terms
Feelings form into words
Confusion the product
The solution yet to be discovered

“I keep looking”

You are the black tulip,
In a field of warm colors.
Slender, atop the hill,
You drew me in.
With petals shining in light of moon,
From the start I knew,
You were a dangerous beaute.
I dove in anyways,
Into your inky waters.
Where your roots wrapped around me,
Keeping me in your whispers,
Torment as I tried to swim.
I know you lied,
When we would say goodbye,
If this is how you treated the man you loved,
Do you really love at all?

coming after you...
there is nowhere to hide!

I gave too much and now you're gone
slowly and slowly I'm more withdrawn
trying to pickup what was once me
love you still you tore me to pieces
but I am trapped and I have no choice
in a crowd of people the noise is silent
you're a tyrant when I'm not around
telling your friends that I'm a clown
you torn down my confidence, my self-esteem
and yet when I sleep I still see you in my dreams

Life, a living orchestra —
a slow, steady climb,
the beginning of an overture,
greeted by the ****** of bells,
a gentle lullaby.

Gradually ascending —
a hum of the cello,
followed by a whisper of drums,
and a surge in pitch —
an escalating crescendo.

Emotions of music —
an overwhelming symphony,
dances alive,
attains its pinnacle,
an immense apogee.

A languid fall,
Into a pit of echoes,
all life enervates,
fading;
the final moments
before the end begins.

Aftermath creeps,
ushering in silence,
inching along,
devouring bit by bit,
towards a silent cadence.

a severed branch in smooth moonlight
adorned above an open gate—
does it lead out or in?
does kindness wait beyond the blind corner,
or something severe
lurking in silence
to devour your life?
something wild with eyes for the dark calls through the night.
an inkling that this night may be your last,
and you’ve already forgotten
the gentle light of the rising sun.
death teases the truth behind the illusion
but never gives up the ghost.
maybe not tonight, but someday—
it will come,
as unavoidable
as the waterfall is to the river.
but you are not the river.
you are the sky, my friend—
vast and open.
do not mistake yourself for your life,
which is but a reflection
on the river, briefly.
let it fall away, as all things must,
over the edge,
into the unknown,
into the mist.

Love is.... crying myself to sleep because all I can think about is you, but your probably thinking about her, because it's not me you want.... but what am I supposed to do? because that's what love is.
Love is.... begging the universe to let us be something more than we are, begging it to let us cross paths again because now we are older, less messy.
begging for it to give us that forever we so dearly deserved.
Love is.... standing in the pouring rain because you can't be happy without them, if their here dying your going to die right with them.
Love is.... walking around in a day dream when things are good but a nightmare when everything starts falling apart.
Love is.... staring up at the ceiling, numb at 3 am because they're confusing, telling you they love you, but their actions telling a whole different story. you can slowly feel them disconnecting.
you tried, you really did but your the only one who's constantly fighting for it to work.
Love is.... making up excuses for them because they really mean that much to you, they were just busy.... to tired to check their phone, we're working, maybe sick.
Love is.... killing parts of yourself so they can feel more alive. trying to fill voids left from long ago.
Love is.... letting your heart take over, having no control over who it picks. because in truthful honestly it wasn't supposed to be him.
Love is.... messy and sweet, it's screaming in your pillow in the middle of the night, it's honest and scary, full of hope. it's hot and cold, bitter and beautiful.
Love is.... a paradox full of twists and turns, lies and truths. it's opening yourself up to a stranger but feeling like you've known them your whole life.
Love is.... like coasting that line between life and death, never knowing the ending. if it's going to be the greatest or most tragic thing that's ever happened to you.
Love is.... letting someone hold a gun to your heart.... praying to god they don't shoot....