My mind is a pin spinning on its head.
Round it spins and round it goes. 
Left alone it would spin forever, left alone it would be content.

But the world is cruel and nothing is ever alone. And so it wobbles at the breeze and it wobbles when blown and it wobbles sometimes by it’s own to-and-fro. It wobbles, and wobbles, it looks like it may just fall. Topple over and spin no more. But it never does, it always comes back. It always recovers. It always wobbles back.
And it keeps on spinning, round and round it goes.

My mind is a pin spinning on its head.
Maybe this breeze will be the one to push it over the edge.

Livin in that enthroned slum I'm dancin like a mischief creep
Steady mobbin arriving sometime-ish, I roll deep
I got a hot skull, I cause an eruption, everybody tweeked their nobs
With vices of virtue, I dont wanna hurt you shifty switch we mob
In chaotic bliss, what did I get myself into this time?
All of this grand design, the full experience
Go get some wisdom, it makes no sense. I wouldnt get myself out of this one

The solitary pianist played.
alone .
fingers met keys unlocking the subtle, sonorous, secrets  hidden within the music .
Feeling seemed to seep and surge from the pianist playing, puncturing soul and heart.
Dim light illuminated the scene: piano, player, chess patterned perch and nothing else.
Nothing else seemed so close and so far as if reaching out to touch something but missing it by nail lengths.
The music sung to the emptiness.
A sirens call in the dark.
A searching scream.
The song seemed to sink and soar.
The man played more and more.
On and on and on and on and on and on
Sailing that emptiness, seeking sanctuary from himself.
Trying to stop stepping deeper and deeper.
Revolving now, a Waltz with himself.
Solemn song sung for a stolen mind.
Poached personality.
Short,secret, pleasures swapped for a soul.
Sanity set sail, a drift in black.
Swimming and flying and drowning with no way back.

I found my glasses today
Under a coat of dust
At a friend’s house
A year after I lost them

I like what I see
I put them on
I feel normal again
Clark Kent would be proud

These lenses take the heat off my vision
I look like a normal guy

I feel normal
I can play video games
Talk about super heroes
And girls

And when I leave I go home to arm chairs
and arms full of charity
I should mention
I live at a friend’s house
Three squares, my own room
and a koi pond outside
It’s a hotel here

You see, I found family last month
Understanding
At a friend’s house
A week after I lost it

I didn’t know how I got there
I left Dad’s due to abuse
Mom kicked me out to refuse truth
And now they both pay each other money
As I walked down a rainy street without shoes

My friend’s family
And I’m grafted in
God should hate me
I’m a self-orphaned child
Soon to be a self-made man
I killed family
But I’m grafted in

Washington never cut down his father’s cherry tree
But I’m standing next to splinters
From the axe I didn’t swing
Should have, could have
Would have had I had half the brain I have now


Now
I feel like a normal guy
Who’s never thought about ******?
Who never had parent issues?
Who never had help when they needed it?
Who feels normal?

i'd say i'd want to die,
but i am not living,
only existing.
going day by day,
the same routine over and over,
slowly being filled with hatred
for those who have stolen your
love and freedom away from you.
'i hate you! i hate you! i hate you!'
you wish to scream, but
suppress it all in a look they
cannot read.
**** it, i'll cry.