she looked at me with interest
inevitable, i suppose
she had lavender kisses
and honey filled whispers
that stuck to my neck
she told me that i was lovely
and that the lovely get crushed
but i surely felt nothing
and smiled all the while
it was not my innocence
ill play the game she asks of me
a liar's entanglement

~
Love is the painting
every heart hopes to achieve,
sifting through seldom
looked upon pictures,
we came upon this masterpiece:

The little boy pensive
just to hold the hand
of his darling,
and skipping along
we played to this game,
giggling in each other's ear,
yet, with only sweet innocent thoughts.

The daytime summer sun
meant a twirl in the air,
a ride on the swing,
and an ice cream to share.

As children love
was an amusement ride,
just leisure fun we never took seriously,
as adults love achieved art,
developing a magnum opus
rich in its own poetry.

The young man proud
just to hold the hand of his darling,
and strolling along their game matures,
they whisper in each other's ear,
yet, with each word the balance
of their intimate thoughts so rest.

The dazzled moonlight of evening
means an aura in the air,
the anticipated kiss it will bring,
and maybe an ice cream to share.

We were never good at every sport,
but somehow this one
came so natural for us,
and so we too were an art
unto ourselves.
~

I miss how you used to laugh
And inspired everyone else to do the same.
I miss your fearlessness.  Your curiosity.
I miss how much you loved
to run and play games.
I miss a lot of things.
But what I miss the most is how pure you were.
Like the light from the midnight moon.
You were gone too soon, Innocence.

He asked me if I am growing up
He told me that he only accepted maturity
He asked me if I understood
He asked me if I knew the truth
I said the greatest truth that I have ever seen
Comes from innocent youth
Youth with their fresh naivety
I said maturity is subjective
True growth comes from self-connection
I said I'm not growing up
I'm growing into me

my childhood,
beautifully messy.
living out the nineties
making pre-internet memories

i remember running around
in mismatched clothes
d.i.r.t.y bare feet
no mobile phone
so my eyes were on the sky
my eyes were on the grass, so green
my eyes were looking into yours
not on a vapid screen  

i remember daddy
bringing our first modem home
i entered my first chat room
at nine years old
believe it or not
i remember the chat feed
being considerably clean
the only time it ever would be
in online history

my childhood,
beautifully messy.
i made so many innocent
pre-internet memories

i remember 5 channels on my tv
i was lucky if i got to watch one movie a week
i don't remember feeling that i had less than what i need
i don't remember feeling as though i had to change me

i remember hating bath time
now i can't get myself clean
no matter how many products that i scrub myself with

i remember backyard performances
my sister was director
i could put on any mask i wanted
i was somebody else for just a moment

i remember a girl from high school
inviting me to join Facebook
if i could go back to that day
i would run far away from her

never did i think, it would become what it is
never did i think, i would become an addict

when i entered that chatroom
back in 99'
i wish i had saved those conversations
proof that it was once benign

my childhood,
beautifully messy.
i made so many innocent
pre-internet memories

Come on Sadness, put on your shoes
Let us walk with troubled time:
Stay by me, and I by you;
And whisper me a sadly rhyme:
Say it all, do say it true,
For no one else shall listen why.
Oh little Sadness, quiet blue,
Your tiny feet that stomp on life:
Mind the plants, do watch the shrews;
What had they to earn your crimes?
Leave the children, let them youth;
No tiny men do want your time.
Hurry Sadness, do stay by me;
Don't forget why you are mine:

Do not leave, for I'll find you
And keep with me till all of time.