To understand alone
is to be a reckless observer,
a sea faring adventurer
on a leaky boat
that floats
across the cosmos.

It is to be a materialist
who claims to be spiritual,
seeing specters
in his reflection
not in the natural world.

It is to be well trained
in the art of
escaping the trappings
of temporary love,
wrapping oneself up in
sweet affections
which you know
can be so easily discarded.

It is driving undirected,
Impulsive,
Obsessive,
the searching
for something
you have never seen
and in the finding
knowing there is
so much more to learn.

It is nihilistic, fatalistic,
franticly selfish
even in the most
unselfish acts.

In the end
it is the loneliest
journey into oblivion.

When my friend committed suicide, I didn’t find out directly.
I found out through a teacher. I was called in the office later that day along with everyone connected with my group of friends.


We sat there, and as the counselor told us why suicide was bad they gave us a pamphlet from the back wall.


How? How could they put suicide alongside ******, ecstasy, ***, AIDS, Party Drugs, Teen Alcohol, Texting and Driving.
Depression is not something offered at parties or given out for 20$ a pop. Depression doesn’t make you tipsy or destroy brain cells.
FREDDIE MERCURY DIDN”T DIE FROM DEPRESSION.


Like that pamphlet my eyes were opened.
Bi-Folded and Arranged like an informational epiphany

And then I existed in a universe unknown
Moving like a wave down fibres of bone
I needed to latch onto something familiar
But my course was determined by my maker the creator
Lights flashing all around
Time a memory, an instant of sound
I felt my being was spread all around
No connection to a ground
Momentum I was, a timeless freckle
On eternity's far reaching arm
Untill a glorious particle
Of energy warm
Smashed into me
And I became
A life changing article

Here I sit, having traversed through space and brain waves
Ready to jump on the next moving train

"When you discover something from someone, the greatest sensation is sharing it with others, and seeing their smiles of information."

                                      © Jl 2005