"you gaze unafraid as they
sob from the city roofs"

under the sludge of this depression, I am awake. it’s morning outside but that doesn’t change a thing.

tiredness takes me to quiet places. I follow like I’m devout.

this forest is new. there’s a drumming of a heartbeat within the trunks of these trees.

it thrums under my fingertips. blood rushes forward to touch this rhythm.

songbirds nest, plume against plume for love and for rest. the birdsong is sweet as saccharine.

I taste the sap on my lips, its nectar, thick with agape. a salve for myriad laments under the roof of a single bell jar.

the indigo sky convulses, telling of fortunes. the clouds retch gilded roses.

blades of grass fence the circumferences of leaves in gypsy winds. the forest warms like a flame.

my body sways in solipsistic wonder. the crescents of my nails are crusted with lichen.

my limbs are drawn into its boughs, like gravity. like the bark is starved.

my mind is foliage and my crown is littered with inflorescence. my sky is finally cerulean and lilac.

each gall is an ancient hurt. each wound is a knot.

I breathe my mourning. I wait to bloom.

I would steal the words from Andrew H.
to say my soul was born in cold rain
and your kindness to sit with me while I wept;
stumbling across the words
shown something so known to me
I the Lamb, now bowing before its Lion
I build me, my paradise.
Was the first light I’d ever known;
Sunlight
       Sunlight
             Sunlight.




-

What is a song, but a spell
A lyrical incantation of wonder.
Capable of transcending from
One emotional ecstasy into another.

At sunrise
I awake from
A violent comatose

I welcome the fiery rain
Soak my flesh from the faucet
Taking deep breathes in stride

With an arsonist anthem playing
Eyes closed and heart racing
The immolation takes flight

Bones made ash become warpaint
A far cry from help as I burn
An unstable dynamo ready to blow

I fall in love just a little or little bit everyday with someone new...
-hozier

‘Your voice,
           I feel sedated whenever I hear
                     its dark caress
           Yet it invigorates me enough
                     for it to be my work song
You took me from Eden
                 to the church that is
                                  you
I entered its ancient confines-
                 to meet another you,
          someone new
                                              and Wilson you said:
“Be my Jackie,
                         let’s steal a child from creation
                         for I don’t want to be alone
          like real people do
who run into the woods somewhere ne'er to return to humanity"
               I wallowed in the heat of your
                   Auburn cathedral
and got seared by the heat of your *****
             and I hear your voice
                        as sweet
                              as cherry wine
And as I hear the trickling of fire
I realized that it is the arsonist’s lullaby.‘

I hear them in the background,
whispering their hate;
plotting their attack.

I was born sick,
I heard them say it.

I cant help it,
I've prayed for forgiveness,
But I was born sick.

I was born a creature of uniqueness,
A creature who should be judged,
A creature who should preach,
And a creature who should be happy.

I am happy,
And I am strong,
I rise against you,
Because I know you're wrong.

I stand tall and proud,
whilst you whisper.

I wasn't born sick,
I wasn't born wrong,
God cant save me,
Because I'm not in distress,
It was you!
You who created this mess.
And it was you,
You were born sick.

Innocence died screaming, honey, ask me I should know
I slithered here from Eden just to hide outside your door