in 12 hours exactly
life will take a new turn

i hope it's finally
towards happiness


-- Watercolour

I feel like I'm drowning in blood,
Blood that is not my own, but is all too familiar.
The bodies, the faces, the experiences, and the blood is all too familiar, and all too painful to fully absorb.
What starts off as a puddle soon becomes an ocean that will either swallow me whole
Or deliver me to deaths door.
I feel like we are moving towards an inevitable, Devastating, ****** end,
Where blood floods the street.
But by then whose blood will it be?
Those of my circle or theirs

15 minutes felt like 6 months
Do you know that?
Laying on bed, dark room
Sound of music from the radio
Rainy weather, dry throat
Huge sweater, fetal position
15 minutes felt like 6 months
Do you know that?
Don't know what to do
Don't know what to say
Don't know what to find
Looking forward to nothing
15 minutes felt like 6 months
Simple sky in my head
No sun, just clouds
Will rain, will rain
No sunshine, no sunshine
Heart beats last lifetime
No complex thoughts of tomorrow
Just teardrops of yesterday
15 minutes felt like 6 months
Do you know that?
Don't know if wasting
Don't know but enjoying

All the foundations that were once built
Have seemed to diminish
As i try to find some way to make the finish
I try to find ways to replenish
My sorrowful soul
It always hits me hard and i don't know why
I've gotten better about it but it always seems to smack me full circle
It's not a wasteful existence but my mind is telling me so
And i've done nothing to make myself feel this way
I just do, and it's eating me alive
I want to permanently be happy and thrive
But the shrouds of darkness is trying to take me alive
If you have to put up with this much black
Than i want to come back

I hate change
Not the type you find on the ground
Or the inspiring differences
Just the way things falter, transform and corrode.

34 hours. Feels like 3400 days

We were a flame that was hard to stay lit
And i constantly questioned myself on most of it
It was all worth it, regardless of the time wasted
Youth is a silly thing
And i'm not that person anymore
Regardless if i still ask myself if i'm a human is besides the point
There was a dozen of gin joints
I could of ended up at
But this one was the most pristine
I'm favorable on trying new cuisine
Because i'm the poster adult for cheap thrills
I really don't like how high these prices are nowadays
Not everyone is rich, you know?
Good moments and good times is all i want bestowed
But even though we're confounded in our woes
I want us to always fight these fires with harsher fire

36 hours, my thoughts persist to keep me up at night.
That's how long the change took
But it feels like 3600 days
Or perhaps even years.

She is a felon
Of time in check.
She punctures
The seconds, minutes, hours
With thoughts, fantasies
That elude her own eyes.

She bleeds passing moments
And drinks them like wine.
She bleeds me, too,
For I am but a collection
Of years at a time.

Outside your window
Waited for you
You didn't come
You never do

In the city in the winter time
The snow and the rhyme
Cover the isolation

Yesterday, baby, they told you the news
They meant no harm
They never do
You can take it anyway you want
It comes and it goes
Rising in broken waves and dreams

Heavy hours passing by the way
Heaven knows how I am trying, babe

I hear you breathing
So steady and true
The whole night long
The whole night through
Your lungs soft heaving
Slow drunken time
Falling with mine
Forever here

Heavy hours dragging by the way
Heaven knows how I am trying, baby
Heavy hours passing by the way
Heaven knows how hard I am trying, babe