I have a heart with a hole
like a strainer in my soul
so I hold to larger hope

I have desires so deep
and the climb is so steep
I hold to a longer rope

I have darkness deep down
fog of fear hides the ground
I hold stronger along the *****

To have and to hold
one thing I am told
you have just enough hold
to cope.

I know. I've been holding on
to things I should let go of.
Lost memories. Lost life. Lost love.
But, as scary and painful as it can be
being lost in the past, knowing how evanescent the mind can be, a future without them somehow seems worse.

No pressure to be up today,
blessed or cursed, hold on

the hands in yours may be tiny,
of passion, steady, familiar,
frail or memorial

they touch the same
and need you here x

They say that sometimes,
silence says more than words ever could. Which is good.
Because right now, I can't think of any words that could comfort you.
I can't think of any words
you haven't heard a million times before.
So, for once, I'll let Silence take the floor
and hold you in my arms and my heart forevermore.

Your sick incarceration
held against a shining will
‘til unmoored you walked

a light you couldn’t see,
that lifted others,
dimmed

each step seeming free
with inexorable gravity
drew to the woods

your last embrace
brought cold release
and all our griefs became

A day will soon come when you will wake
after a full, unbroken night
with no asides other than kooky dreams,
and materials for breakfast
will be at hand and in date

and your plans will be loose
and peopled with easy love
and activities that boost your soul

the weather will be just the way you like it:
that crisp, bright, balmy, bracing, intoxicating kiss
you’re perfectly dressed for

the memories you carve will remain
to glow in the dark
like the stars on your bedroom ceiling

a day like this will come again
so hold on my loves,
hold on

I'm leading my way in my own grief. Pretending to be nowhere but the truth is I'm fully wide-eyed. A lot of what ifs? What if I let go? What if I won't? What if I pretend that nothing happens? What if I stop chasing? What if i stop caring? What if we shouldn't met? And what if I shouldn't love you? Does the waves stop? Does the floods can go back to its rightful placed? or does the moon and sun can be together? I know it's impossible but I'm still trying to hold on with someone whom I couldn't have.

Cast forward to those first days
where half clad trees
coax memories of freshness

though you’ve stepped out
wrapped still in winter blues,
insistent sun and boisterous green
beguile you to disrobe
and give skin to this

welcome discomfort
at being over-encumbered
as the new season embraces,
the shedding can begin