Clearly it's snowing
In your heart.
You wish you thawed,
Still wish you to, though.
The cold of it keeps
Glowing you up,
The smartest streak
Of such a generous
Remark is showing
The obsessive drift:
Repetitive at nothing,
Novelty at stake.
It's where you are,
Still drifting there
As though
In cycles of the dark.
I wish you knew,
Let's hope it still is not too late.

Differing sins bicker
Amongst each other
As to
Who shall Permanently
Shape me,
After their ways
And
Until the end of my days.

Nay!
Let your ways
Oh Yahweh
Become my second nature
That I may breeze
Through
Tempation with ease.

I was stupid to think
I could put out a fire
with the wave of my hand

You ignited me too
when you told me
my touch burned just a bad

I knew by the lack
of wavering pain
despite the tears I shed

And now I know water
would have done jack ****
against the fire in your head

I want you to see
You who claim to love me
You who claim to save me
From that which I can't see
Ahead, but I know in my bones
I can't let bygones be bygones
Right now - I've worked a week for two
Or three, and I'm tired, and I have had too
Four weeks locked up through no fault of my own
And I am wearing close to the bone
And I'm dying on my own
I am not-crying on my own
I can't say I'm alone
When I'm out of the zone
Where the world is a stranger
And my sun turned from me in danger
As if I would **** him with my pallor
Because I asked for his light, in squalor
Or maybe just too young
And realising how much is wrong
And how much has been wrung
And how I have a limit to being strong
And how I loved too much
That I'm now sick of the loving, friendly, familial touch -
I did not realise how much I suffered
Until today's sweet sunny plans, by me, were scuppered.

Words fail me
I don't know what I feel
I want to fade to nothing
And let the silence consume me
So many perspectives
I don't know which is true
Maybe all of them are
But then what?
They tell me I'm good
While my guilt swallows me whole
Rule one is do no harm
And I've shattered that
They say it's being a human
And I guess that's true
But if I can do anything to help
Then I'd like to
Where is that fine line
Between values and pain?
I don't owe it to them
But I feel like I do
If getting burned makes it better
At what point do I quit?
Do I hand over the matches?
Soak my soul in gasoline?
Pain for pain seems so fair
I made mistakes and I have to own them
But does letting myself burn
Really help anyone?