nothing i do will ever be good enough for you

I don't cry in tight corners
I don't sob when I'm alone
Instead, I think
Constantly ... Of everything

I think I have a gift
If I talk, no one listens
I'm the background
No on knows what it's like

I just go along, forcing myself
Being like others causes a disturbance
Instead, I think
Continuously ... Of everything

My thoughts are outlandish
They make sense to me
I keep thinking
Everyday ... Of everything.

I can feel it coming on again.
That feeling of hopelessness
It's in the back of my throat
My heart is aching
And the pain is starting to tell me
That I'm not good enough
Again.
That the reason he's not answering
Is because
He doesn't want me
How could he?
I'm not good enough.
That the reason my mom stopped talking to me is because she found someone better
And my dad stopped talking to me because I'm unimportant
He's got better things to worry about
The pain tells me that my parents neglect to invite me to family events because I'm no longer
a part of the family
I am not good enough.
I used to think I wasn't pretty
Enough for any guy
To ever love me
Now that's all they like me for
And I'm still not good enough.
So many things can trigger this pain and I'm sick of it
I'm sick of feeling like I'm not
Good enough because it isn't true
I am perfect just as you are.
Everyone is perfect because
There is no such thing.

I'm good enough for the boy
That won't reply to my texts
The one person that makes me
So happy
The one person I'm too weak
To stop caring for
I'm good enough for him.

I'm good enough for my mom
Who can't seem to find the time
To make a simple phone call
Or show me that's she still cares
I'm good enough for her.

I'm good enough for my dad
Who won't talk to me
Because he doesn't trust me
Even though I've given him
Absolutely no reason not to
I'm good enough for him.


I have to tell myself that it doesn't matter, but I do. I matter. My feelings matter and every tear I cry for these people isn't because of nothing.

I'm ******* good enough.

Your preference for her
     is all too clear
and becomes more obvious
     each time you turn
     away from me
     to seek her out.
I'm left behind, reeling
     from your silent insults,
breaths stuttering as I try
     to comprehend
     when I stopped
     being good enough.

you told me that
i wasn't good enough

and in the end
i believed you