Enjoy the small things
Because you will yearn for them
When you feel empty

When you meet someone you know could swallow you whole
You have two options

One:
Jump into their mouths
Make their teeth your roof
and their tongue your bed
Hang on their every word
Roll with the waves of their words
Let their hot breath shape your being
Fall down their throat into their hot belly
You have no home but here
Outside is no place for you now


Two:
Run as far away as your can from the gaping cave
Plug your ears against the siren call of their voice
Do not let the inhale of their lungs pull you
Do not be small enough that they could fit you inside
Stand on your own
They are no place for you

I am like the color yellow.
Because loneliness is a close fellow.
If you get too much of me at one time,
You will soon be at the end of the line.

I am like the color yellow.
But today I'm feeling a bit blue.
I wish people liked me, like they do you.

I am like the color yellow.
Good in moderation.
Bad when used in excessive decoration.
The color yellow is a lonely color.
Yet all the other colors are so much duller.

I am like the color yellow.
Because loneliness is a close fellow.

It's always when the magic hits that blissful ****** up buzz I'm alone in the bar putting up the stools up closing down as usal.

I always have one behind the bar light a cigar just soak in the silence .
It's then when it all comes back in a flood to me .

The faces of those passsed my brothers.
I pour a shot of borbon for them each.
Always making mine a double .

I imagine there laughs the bad jokes and great conversations we no longer share .

William always playing the jukebox that trademark laugh that could light a room.
Bob Warren cracking people up hitting on the women he was a one man sideshow and a old vet.

Bone .
My closest brother the guy who ****** everyone off and always made me laugh .
We'd talk for hours kick back the drinks and torment everyone around us.

Cause if we didnt **** with you.
We truly didnt give a **** about you.
I had burried them all as alone now i stand .

The smoke hung in the air as i saw them all and for a moment i wasnt alone.

It always hit hardest on nights like these .
The women will all leave you .
Love is a fire that burns beyond are control.

But the memories are the tressure bury them deep only to dig them up when you are alone .

I drank each shot as one by one they vanished from sight.
I do not believe I can bury another .

I guess in all truth I hope the next is me..


I closed the door locked it behind me the air outside was frozen.
My breath shown on the walk home.

I was alone .

Sometimes the page is far more simple than reallity of this existence.
I'm glad to have shared one last round with friends .

We can write the ending.
But life always seems to see it a different way.

Cheers

Gonz

Alone
Always alone
Please
Somebody
Find me
A home
I want to belong
to someone
other than myself
to be the lover
of another
and be loved in return

I am tired
of abandonment issues
the exit wounds
being torn through
left bereft
with holes
and scars
shallow breaths
and worn out beats
a broken heart

For once
I just want to be held
and not put down
not let go
but treasured
kept
swept
off my feet
cherished

All my friends
seem to have come and gone
I feel so alone
Lonely
Always second
a hand-me down
Never first
an afterthought
sought after
only out of convience

It hurts
worse each time
I break open
to let someone in
only to be shut out
by them in the end
Again and again
the third wheel
spinning tirelessly
circling the drain
swallowing pain

When will they notice
that I am shambles
bleeding from the inside out
internal wounds
Hemorrhaging
from all the cuts
the back stabbing
Is it really that hard
to love me
to see me
accept me
for who I am?

I know Im quiet (introverted)
and awkward at times
high on anxiety
lowered to depression
but funny too
sweet and kind
intelligent mind
heart more courageous than a lion
loving fiercely mankind
Yet everyone leaves me
in the back of the car
like a crying baby
forgotten in her booster seat
in Summer heat
dying from neglect

Alone
Always alone
Please
Somebody
find me
A home
I want to belong
to someone
other than myself
to be the lover
of another
and be loved in return

One day
I wont have to try
so hard to be relevant
cared for/about
by the very people
I've come to adore
beg for attention and time
In time
I will find my tribe
kick off my shoes and relax in my socks
by the fire place of warmth
my soul embraced and loved

No longer the one calling out
to hear only a dial tone
or answering machine
receive no response
No longer will I walk
as the wind
nor be the waning moon
an empty shadow
silent company
of leaves and trees
hollow
A bystander
A dead end
or one way street
the ghost unseen
someone who no longer exists
in their world

One day
Ill finally find myself
at home
right where I belong

so here’s the thing
about the things you think
the things you thought
what’s down the sink
and what is not
the friends you saw
who you got
who had to go
you loved them all
through highs and lows

but people slip
and then they’re gone
when you can’t keep grip
and there’s nothing to hold on
you’ve got to let go
because it’s how life goes
get past those
who aren’t worth the fight
because they weren’t right
and couldn’t be kept
although you will not forget
the times that were good
the lessons they taught you
but you really should
forget they forgot you

and it’s okay
because so few stay
there’s plenty more along the way
and yes it’s tough
life doesn’t stop
no matter how rough
alone or not
then things get better
they always do
nothing’s forever
but you always get through

All the walking books
I have yet to read;
the human hearts that beat.
Soon to be acquaintances
or lifelong friends.

Some come and go as surface dwellers.
Others stay,
and come to know you better;
the roots of the tree
that gave birth to its branches.

Reveal to me more
than your shallow surface,
I want to know the deeper you,
the intricacies
that make up who you are.

I will build a bridge
between your heart and mine,
listen to understand.
I will choose to climb the ladder
leaving judgment on the shelf below.

Be unafraid to trust in intimacy.

Hide no part of you
bare your scars to me
for I have them too
my love will only grow
in light of all you show.

Be courageous in faith.
Share with me the wear and tear
of a human heart
Lovers bearing scars,
bare to me all

the unpretty things that make you beautiful.

©achosenword

So much choice
So much time
So many miles apart
So much non-commitment.
Anxious and dysfunctional.
A side-ways game
Of friendship cover-ups.
Keeping your options open,
Playing your cards close.
Thinking I can't see your moves,
As you pull back and forth,
Hot and cold.
Then assuming what you will
About my words and indiscretions.
And all the insecurities
Triggering your actions
Are my fault.
I left you unable to judge
My heart and soul.
I left you unable to identify
My purity of intent.
I left you questioning
My cards.
And you failed to ask,
Because your ego chains you with fear.
So we’ll lose at this.
Two disappointed hearts.