writing poems in the notes app
on a cracked iphone 5 that doesn't have a sim card
well past the moons rise into the sky
thinking about leaving this
dry, cracking, miserable town because i'm done
aching for rain

there's too much of you and i here
and i'll never forgive myself
for folding all those paper lotus flowers for you on valentine's day
i now know the dangers of
putting so much of yourself into something so fragile

I am a man of glass
I am delicate,
I am fragile.
I am brittle,
I am beautiful.

I am easy to break.

The girl wreathes
the perimeter of her mattress  
in salt
that has
fallen
like meteors from her stormy eyes.

Surely,
this ritual
will keep the nightmares away.

But her tears
lack resilience.
lack the necessary sting
of healing
as brine enters wound;

instead,
her tears
are broken compositions
of fragility and sugar--

a spoonful
helps the medicine go down
but cannot antidote
the parasitic demons
hosted by the traumas of her past.

tonight I’m calling fearful souls
the peers of my tribe
there is chaos in the heart of stones we are casting
there is a lot of pain in unborn desires
we are trembling, we are holding our breath –
what does it mean to feel safe
we are dreaming and waiting
old mothers are screaming unheard
the tyrant is playing backgammon with God

I am searching for each of you in the safety of dawn
the beast with bottomless eyes is here
Inside
so difficult to grasp our soul
to endure this: a world of faceless people
we cover our eyes, mouth, hearts
bottomless eyes are smearing

the body as a battlefield
oh, we remember what we want to have forgotten
we collapse under the burden of our own fragility
the history repeats itself shutting down stories
so many stories of cancelled love

the slaughterhouse soul is too heavy
and I can’t remember the ancient joy and innocence
the simplicity of being
words have just exploded
and my heart is cracked open

and now I am afraid even of my words
of that which should not be named
the murderer of soul, dignity and poetry

I am afraid of staring into bottomless eyes
without my peers
without my tribe

I had built my confidence out of fragility
It was like a sandcastle, so beautiful and bold

I almost believed in it; I was almost convinced
That this confidence will endure the strongest of tides

But then and with the first wave of reality
The sands moved under the castle that was swallowed by the shore.

And denial swallowed my presence along with the storms of insecurity and fear ...

A pebble in a sea of glass

Shattered mind raindrops

Fragile as cobwebs

Sun strong and shadow deep

Infinite and fleeting

Planet sized in the palm of your hand

Belief is everything

And nothing at all