Roll outta bed, calls to answer
Make a cup of motivation
This is the standard
Meds, Shoes, Music, Trains
While each Morning passes the same
Gotta hold back the symptoms of strain
You can feel that
You've got lava in your veins
that tends to go and drive you insane
but the day goes on, it gets a lil easier
Suppressants in the brain
crashing like a meteor
Gotta take more just to get through the day
Dont have another choice
God knows I've tried every other way
Background music plays, a variety
of pieces of your soul,
creates anxiety
You've heard it all before, but it brings you back
You get to live a little bit in those flashbacks
of the good and the bad, but the past all the same
back to a time where things felt more tame
Halt
The train comes to a stop.
Its your turn to get up and get off
But before you finish your walk
you've got time to cough
before you step back into the world
where you're livestock

Electricity, vibes
Coursing, surging
Destiny, fate, temptations
Life.

Legally indebted
               Effy Stonem

I live my days with you on my mind
Looking for happiness but it’s so hard to find
Wishing someone would take away the pain
I know I’m not crazy and I know I’m not sane

I close my eyes and there you are
Even though the past is kind of far
It feels like it was yesterday
When you almost took my life away

Wind whistling
Storm raging
Running through the night

Prowling through the dense grasses
Guns loaded
Cocked and ready to fire
In position
Awaiting the command to fire

A camisado
Bursting into the night
Bullets a cascade
Shells raining down
Crying out into vastness

When all is over and lost
Daylight ends
All turns back
To the time of chaos

Running and screaming
One is numb
Walking when all else havoc
Lost in the madness
Crawling across the ground
Into hiding
Then
Pounding of a skull
Over and over
Yet
There is no marks
Only pain

After the battle
After the war
The private battle scars
Salty rivers flow
Carving canyons
Which soon fade
Back to plains
Found and coaxed out
Wrapped in warmth
Fed comfort
Yet
Internally
It is rejected

Information
Flowing in
A holding of the hand
A little fragile
O the one
Trying to go down
Found and halted
Escaping
Captured and taken
Gone away

Time later
Still haunting
Flashbacks
Festering and consuming
Until nothing is left
But the vastness.

- Jay M
September 10th, 2019

A part of me died
When my brother
Was laying motionless
In a yellow shirt

It's an image
That
Won't
Go
Away

the night in november
when he took me from me
i always remember it
all the other times bob up and down
in the sea that is my mind
but that day is steady
it is always there
the red
it is burnt into the backs of my eyes
the red of my shirt
the red of the chair he ****** me over
the red of my blood, persistent
the sting was red
the sky was red
that day has gained power with time
after it happened i just showered and went to sleep
numb
but since
it has become as sure a presence as the sun in the sky
no one can touch me
no one can look at me
if i never let anyone close,
no one can take me from me again

The troubled serpent seeks me
in the dimness of the night,
in the luminescence of stars,
in the hallowed shadows;
it asks me to relive
and I beg of him,
saying,
was eve eating the apple
not enough?

I don’t know of what sins
you think I may have
or will commit,
but must I, too,
suffer for the ones others did?
Why do I have to constantly
be in a headspace that allows
for these things to happen
over and over,
when I was not the one
to keep taking bites of forbidden fruits?

Didn’t know,
there were so,
many people our there,

I thank you,
you’re welcome,
now we can drink,

incredibly perfect,
choice present,
5D HDTV
actions with intent,

hello,
it’s the man in the mirror again,
what does it mean does it mean anything,
just relax take a seat have a drink,

try some marzipan or better yet try again,
but wait what about marscopone,

catching the time watching it go by on the mirror clock,

“Are you okay,
you look a little tired.”,
“yeah I’m fine.”,
I reply,

never wanted to **** a man,
even if he had it coming,
and he did,
bring out the dogs and get the cats to quit complaining,

it’s raining cats and dogs,
open the box don’t wake up on your death bed with regrets,
I’ve killed men in service of my country,
God bless the USA stars and stripes promises and threats,

and I’d say there’s a conspiracy,
at least that’s my guess,
and I almost know what I’m doing here,
but I don’t quite know yet,

didn’t know,
there were so,
many people our there,

I thank you,
you’re welcome,
now we can drink…

∆ LaLux ∆