Three years ago from today,
I watched your neck snap and
swing loosely from your spine
from a tightly tied noose,
like the detached sole of
your brown church loafers.

During the autumn, the leaves
that ripped new orange contrasted
from the purple observable on your
face.

I watched your body dangle
from the banyan tree next
to the rickety tire swing in which
was once a steady structure, but was
now so close to dilapidation, just
like you and mama’s marriage.

And oh how you always hit her with
the tea kettle at eight in the morning
while it was still hot brewing of
mysterious faucet liquid because
your farm couldn't pay for plumbing,

And oh how while mama was away and
little Josh played cars with Susie
I watched your neck swing and twirl,
and finally breathed.

But after three years ago,
I watched mama walk down
a carmine carpet, her
white mermaid tail wedding
dress complimented the
beautiful chrysanthemums
among the ground.

I watched salty rivers dangle from
her eyes like you neck to your spine,
not from a beating of hot medal
at eight in the morning, but of
the tan man, Jose, who we all
loved dearly, not because of the
new plumbing and tire swing that he
provided, but because we saw mama
smile and dance and laugh for the first
time, since three years ago from today.

have always wanted to escape reality-
from disney princess movies as a kid
to being a pre teen feeling real ******
reading all those fantasy books
then discovered romance and ****
as a weird teenager that barely lives
and keeps wanting to cut
myself but I know nobody gives
a single **** about my dreams
because I've always wanted to just fly
or shoot beams
or getting really really high
with dopamine in my veins
because if I met my fated partner in a whole another world
I'll be content for no reason
at all <3

I scoff in embarrassment
At myself
And shrug a cold shoulder
As emotions threaten to boil over
Jealous of a fictional character
When one hears from the other
That they'll be friends forever
Forever
Has never
Been a player
In my endeavor

©2024

wilting flower
crumbling in pieces into the grass
i know it's real when my fingers graze it
crunching against a gentle touch
i know it's real because it's dead

real things can die
fictional things are only forgotten,
at least for a brief moment

yet fictional things can live on
living on indefinitely
an immortal being
a constant in change
an independent variable

but people are flowers
we grow from seeds
rise into stems and enclosed buds
and bloom, some earlier and some later than others
only to wilt away
petal by petal

i wish i was
unreal as the fictional things are
even if i am to be forgotten
just so i may stay as i am
forever.

Oh my brother!
Bringer of light
Made from the fire
Oh what a sight
Why anger father?
Why try to fight?
It doesn't matter
You will have my might

You called to us
We answered your call
But we had no chance
Though we gave it our all
We tried to run
Some tried to crawl
But in the end
We caused our fall

Oh the fall
Oh it was heated
Curse the ground
By whom we were greeted
On earth's throne
You were seated
But no compensation
For how we were treated

Our brothers love you
Talk of your greatness
Follow every command
Oh what blindness
As for me
I'm filled with sadness
I should have known
Should have seen your madness