Still waiting,
like a bird with broken wings,
waiting for the breeze to carry me beyond.
But I am still stuck in here,
a place far north to my heart,
where emotions dwell with a lookout,
where my soul might be a tenant but never the master.
In my void of thoughts, everything is a slave to Fear.

It now rules my emotions that I finally have someone to lose.
The demons from my past often knock,
but they just don’t seem to make through.
Those demons seem so minuscule in front of the fears that now lives in me.
Now my tears roll down very easily,
do my tears signify that I am losing to my fears?
Or Have I lost the will to hide them anymore?
The feeling that you might be holding someone too close,
and once that person lets you go,
your reality may be torn between your questions,
questions to yourself, and questioning yourself.
The fear that what you might need is too much
or maybe what you did was too little.
The feeling of letting go and setting free seems to be different.
they are more powerful than mere words.
Every silence to my goodbyes.
Every distance to my differences.
My fears are growing,
Cause I have seen this happen,
I have lived through this ordeal a million times.
I don’t want to be lost again
running around nameless,
fear of not belonging to my emotion,
fear of not having someone to share my tears with,
fear that I won’t hear a smile,
fear that all this was just an empty promise,
fear that I might be abandoned by the ones I held close.

Now that they have grown beyond my arms,
not the smiles but the scars would remind them of me.
The fear is taking shape,
he seems to be in vibrant
shades of my doubts and insolence.
perched on my shoulder,
whispering to me,
“You never meant anything to those whom you called yours.”

Still when I might be too occupied to write,
I know my thought fuelled by fear,
are the scariest places to dwell.

You always talked about falling in love, but what if I am afraid to fall?

What if I am afraid of heights?

It feels like I'm at the top of the mountain,
Unable to breathe again.
My body says it's cold,
Trembling uncontrolled.
I can't look at you,
I can't remember.
What was I saying again?
Oh right, I'm not in Antarctica.
But why does it feel like it?
Where exactly am I?
It must be Antarctica.
I feel like passing out,
I need to get down the mountain.
I feel like I'm dying.
The air must be thin,
It must be -29°C,
I must be dying in the cold.
That's why I can't breathe,
That's why I'm trembling,
That's why I feel this way,
I must be in Antarctica.

I was never told
To behold

The tears
Carrying all my fears

To let them flow
For the glow

To pay the price
For snatching the prize

To let someone die
On the mere roll of the die

I was never told
To behold

The dance of the fairies
Amongst fires in the prairies

Of the sacrifice
For the fool’s paradise

I was never told
To behold

The danseuse death
In her fight with fate

The glory bequeath
With the fory dead

I was never told

To prepare myself
To fight herself

To wrench my prize
From someone her size

I was never told
To behold

People’s fate
In someone’s gait

To let the decision
Be forsaken of vision

I was never told
To behold

The dance of the dead
As if they had never bled

Their waking up again
Out of deign not disdain

I was never told
To behold

The history being rewritten
And the mysteries being smitten..

Rose tears cover the sky
a blanket of snow rests on the surface
and the sun hides behind blushing clouds
morning comes waving letters
written by golden moments
infused with memories of the past
and comes hope,

disguised as an uncertain future

There is beauty in my reflection
          I am
carrying mountains on my back
Universes on my head
Solace in my eyes
Harmony on my lips
But there are doubts in my heart
And again I am stuck in haze....
                          -diksha dhiman