After the moon was through with night,
But the sun had not brought morning light.
The other scouts slept in their tents
After an evening full of merriment.

I sat alone and watched the leaves
Blow softly as the forest breathes.
I fell from my Stump in pure surprise,
At the creature that landed before my eyes.

It had a head of a bird and a beak of an owl,
But the body was surely. Not that of a fowl .
Four legs were spread wide like those of a bear
But it didn’t have paws under its charcoal hair.

The talons it owed were gripping a tree,
A felled one directly in front of me.
Its tail Was so long I could not see the end
The length of a python couldn’t contend.

It stared hard at me, and I back at it,
It studied the fire that no longer was lit.
Then without a sound it tilted its head,
Right there and then I was sure I was dead.

I followed its eyes to see what it saw,
While not moving my gaze from. It’s scary big Claw.
I knew one wrong move would. Not be to clever
But I had no idea what it wanted, none whatsoever.
There was nothing else for it, I just had to know
“excuse me! “ I asked “are you friend or foe?”
It ruffled its feathers and shook all its fur,
It whipped back its tail so fast its a blur.

It poked its head forward into my tent
I knew there and then, just what that meant
He wanted some food, bit all I had was crisps,
Maybe a few jelly babies, and ready salted wisps.

I reached in and got them handed him the rest
I had saved all the red ones, coz I liked them best.
From the look in his eyes and the smell of his breath
I best hand them over as matter of life over death.

He gobbled them up with a crunch, slide and burp,
Not the noise I expected from a bird, not a chirp.
I can’t quite explain how you smile with a beak
But the giant bird gleamed with a certain mystique.

That’s when it decided it had to repay,
It did so in the most peculiar way.
It turned on its talons, and aimed up its ***
I thought to myself, I know what’s to come

But to my surprise came a large crystal. Egg
Popped out and rolled over and stopped by my leg
I was startled, relieved and knew not what to do,
I was really just glad I wasn’t covered in poo.

As I lifted the egg it flew into the air
It blew over the tents that were all pegged in there
The rest of my troop now awake from the noise
Rolled out of their tents, all angry young boys.

“hey fella! “ they screamed “ what’s the big deal?”
Still speechless I didn’t know what I should feel
I just pointed up and we watched the thing soar,
They we weren’t shouting or screaming at me any more.

I buried the egg before my scout leader saw
I don’t think that was Stealing, its not against the law.
I week later I went back to dig up my prize,
With dreams of endless wealth and hope in my eyes.

But when I arrived the monster had followed
With a massive big belly, maybe cow it had swallowed
The creature was full that was clear to see,
Reassuring and fine, there was no room for me.

I went to the tree and dug up the prize,
I don’t know how in a week it had doubled in size,
I handed it over, right back to its mother,
It nuzzled it back to me like I was it’s brother.

Each week we came back and the egg still was growing,
Rocking side to side, what moves it was throwing.
One week I arrive just in time to catch,
the egg start to rattle and crack and then hatch.

Out climbed a baby, all scruffy and bald,
As ugly as sin and as equally appalled.
It gave a big yawn and tiny we ****,
Then readied itself to get a head start.

The mother kawed and baby kawed in return
Imparting wisdom in kaws, and things it should learn.
That’s when the baby looked over to me,
It tilted its head wondering what I could be.

A snack, or dinner, or an aperitif
Someone invading its nest, it thought I was a thief!
I bolted and ran strait towards me I swear,
I ducked just in time as it flew through the air.

The mother had knocked the baby beast back,
It landed and moaned and gave out a quack.
Another loud Kaw came out of its beak,
It knew it was wrong, apologizing with a squeek.

From that moment on we became the best of friends,
I brought them both jelly babies, and built up their dens.
I was invited to join the wooflepoofle clan,
Wish I could say this was all part of my master plan.

I was honored to be part of the family
But I could never understand why the wooflepoople choose me?
Maybe he heart of my soul, or something thereabouts,
But I know it would never have happened if I wasn’t in the scouts.

They're back, They’re back, Were under attack,
The lunar rabbits are out for a snack!
Alert the army, the navy and scrabble the jets,
The rabbits on the moon are down here with nets.
They come armed with cannons with weird purple goo,
They fire brown bullets like moon rabbit poo.
We have to fight back, with our own ***** bombs,
So, Fire the grannies in pink frilly thongs!
If that doesn't scare the big moon bunnies back,
Send in the school teachers, send them in in a pack!
Armed with rulers and dusters and big books of maths,
Throwing questions and fractions and patronizing laughs.

Alert all the animals from around the whole globe,
From the great Megladon to the smallest microbe,
Get the Austrian emu with the horns on its feet,
And the machine gun bees to assemble their fleet.
Call the ninja koalas and the samuari fox,
And rats in the prisons with socks full of rocks.
Ring the axe weilding pugs from Norway’s fjords,
And the peacocks from turkey with tails made from swords
Then maybe we can ride into battle on the back of a beast,
The mysterious king ***** that migrate from the east.
Well almost be ready to hold back the attack then,
I fell for that story once, I will not fall for the same trick again.

I’ll never kiss you
Clear sad fact
You make me smile
My heart sometimes hurts
A pain I’ll bear with

I think of you lots
One day you’ll reject me
I’m taking my time
Treasuring each moment
Dreaming of forever

Three words you’d be fine
We weren’t ever together
A casual odd stranger
I don’t want you to go
I’d rather keep dreaming

Living in a fantasy
I’d rather escape my reality
Don’t ruin this quiet moment
Just simple idle chatter
Still do you like me to?

Faries live in the hawthorn,
Gnomes live under rocks,
Trolls stay under bridges,
And nessie’s stay in the Loughs.

Pookas come close to farmers,
Changlings come to babes,
Spirits in the mirrors,
Kelpies in the waves.

The little folk are trouble,
In the heat they bring the cold,
They trick the weary traveler,
With pots of magic gold.

They whisper on the breeze,
While hidden in the mist,
Without them doing anything,
Remind you they exist.

They write about themselves,
So we don’t think they’re real,
They carved the lines in oghm,
magic words in ancient ghael.

Yet still we leave them gifts,
Bits of whisky & pooka’s share,
We have never ever seen one,
Yet we know that they are there.

Rabbits on the moon

So much of the universe I didn’t know,
Like the Antarctic dolphins that live in the snow.
Or the ostrich of Scotland that wears a pink kilt,
And the Icelandic sunflowers that never shall wilt.
There’s kittens than swim in the cold baltic sea,
Or the cobras of Poland with raspberry ***.
There are turtles with shells made of musical twine,
And bulldogs in France that crush grapes into wine.
The are sloths up In Finland that wear woolly hats,
Made from the hair of some ginger Swiss cats.
There are budgies that swim in the seas deepest cracks,
And hamsters in Egypt with humps on their backs.
But nothing compares to my favourite ****** toon,
Did you know there are wild rabbits that live on the moon?
They are scary and angry and take people from tours.
They pull at their legs, just like I’m pulling yours.