Alone...
Whether I'm in a crowded room,
                                        or alone with you....
                                                          It never seems to be enough...
I guess it shouldn't bother me as much,
                                                           ­ this feeling of loneliness...
I'd grown all too familiar with it growing up...
Never fitting in,
       always the one being left out of parties and social gatherings....
This feeling of loneliness is something I'd grown accustomed to,
                     but i never expected to feel it from you....
I thought you'd be different,
      I know how much your gaming means to you and I get that,
                                                           ­                                         I really do...
I just need someone...
Someone who's always going to be there,
                                                            sure­ there'll be distractions,
      but nothing that's so self emerging and addicting that in that moment and time nothing else matters but winning...
I just need that constant reassurance,
                                       that you're not going anywhere,
                                                       ­                            that I'm ok...
All i want is to be ok..... Not Alone......
        I want, no, I crave that comfort, like a warm blanket and cozy socks,
       curled up at a window to watch the rain as it pours down outside...
God I feel so alone.....

When I start to write a poem my initial reaction is to
Purse my lips, brush aside my hair, twiddle my toes, try to feel
Where I am write down, who
I am write now, equal measures physically and mentally
In the case that the tap is on, my thoughts flowing in a steady stream I greedily clutch at them
Some are caught successfully in a bucket but more than I realize slip through
The cracks in my fingers

The times when the **** seems firmly shut I’m left
Waiting,
For an opening in my mind that seems to have dried up,
Not a drop left

So, I start digging. A scratch, two, eventually like a dog frantic for his treasure
I usually hit something
But as to whether it’s my prize is another matter
I’m more often hit with a rock
A very hard unmoving rock

Although, sometimes the rock is gold
Or pyrite and I can pass it off as such
It still glitters and shines
And that’s fine, isn’t it?

why isnt it normal to be single ,
why dont we talk about being on our own ,
i want to tell each one of you that you are enough ,
you are what you want
you are not incomplete at all ,
you just think you want something more ,
lets change the definition of love,
and term it as continuous growth
we grow we nurture we
love and we care  ,  
and just be okayy with being single
and absolutely fabulous all by ourself .

You know, there's times
Where I just can't help
But feel inadecuate
at your side.

It's not your fault
Not at all
And it also isn't mine
Not really.

It's also not as bad
As I make it sound
It is something I feel though
Just a fact, that's all

Let me explain
With my usual
Ridiculously cheesy
Way of speech

You see my dear
You are something else
Quite unique
Truly out of this world

In you I see all the beauty
I've ever seen in life

I can see that light in your eyes,
When something makes you laugh

I can see beautiful waves in your hair,
Even when you say it's not that great

I can see the mischief in your smile,
When you are about to mess with me

I can see what I hope is love in your face,
Every time I say how much I love you

I see a lot in you

I see a lot more everyday

To me you are mystical, filled to the brim
With all that is magic in the cosmos
And all those things we wish were true

To me you are perfectly imperfect,
Moody, sour, mischievous,
Loving, trustworthy, understanding,
You are you, and you are what I love.

So that's why
When you feel down
Or sick
Or angry
Or just plain wrong
I often don't feel enough

That is because I always wish I could help
Even when I know you are fine on your own
(You are too strong to be otherwise)

I often wonder if I'm worthy of you
If I'm not boring or annoying or plain

I usually struggle to help you,
And you make me feel better so easily
(it's impressive honestly)

Enough with self pity though
Because if you have given me something,
That something is hope.

So it's alright if sometimes I feel inadecuate
Because I also feel you appreciate me anyways

It's alright if I can't always help
Because I also know you are stronger than most

It's alright if I'm not perfect
Because I know you know
And I hope you know I try very hard
And I just hope my love is enough.