The lights were dim,
and the noise was loud,
crowds of people all around.
I lost my way in the throng,
bourne along on the beat of the night.
Cigarettes needed, I left the bar
suddenly there you are.
You tried to chat I wanted none of that
just my smokes and a familiar face,
I tried with grace to let you know
move on, just go.
Just then I I knew my mistake,
you grabbed my arm and hissed in my face
“My name is John”
I tried to smile use some guile,
but you were hell bent, and all that I did seemed to provoke.
I choked the fear down, when I realised we were alone,
how did you get me here?
Wedged between the wall and the cigarette machine.
Croaks were all that I could summon as you undid my buttons,
frozen in fear, switched off from here.
Fight or flight?
Neither just fright.
I remember your smell, your touch, your words
I wanted to scream GO TO HELL but nothing came out.
The kisses were the worst,
no matter how hard I tried to move my head away
your lips, your tongue found their target.
Bruising me, pushing me, grabbing me, groping me
As you pinned my hands behind my back, I gave up,
Just like that.

Psalms 23
1 The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
3 he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
for his name’s sake.
4 Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.

In the presence of my enemies...

IN THEIR FACE!
Right there in full view,
where they can't ignore it -
You lavish your favour.
You flourish extravagance.
You banish restraint.
You shout exuberance.
At the prepared table
we feast together -
a glass sloshing,
chin dripping,
teeth staining,
finger licking,
shirt smearing,
belt loosening,
belch competing,
mouth spilling,
song inducing,
mum tutting
FEAST!
- right there
before my dumbfounded enemies
and in your glorious presence.

You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
6 Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
Amen.

The wine I'm drinking isn't strong enough
To dissolve the bitter taste you left in my mouth
No amount of liquor I consume
Could ever be as intoxicating as you
Then as I lie alone in bed
With tears as my only company
I try to hate the fact that I loved you
The fabric conditioner I use
Has long since erased your cologne
And I'm grateful of that, I think.

The wine I'm drinking isn't strong enough
To dissolve the bitter taste you left in my mouth
But I still have another bottle.

drink the night away

I tend to like myself
When beer
And *****
Race through my body,
I can spend more time
With my thoughts,
If I'm cheered by the spirits
Of old yiest
Of old potatoes,
Fermented
Fragmented
A granade,
Two are brought,
In a very happy hour
It's time to be happy.
I'm fond of old me
When I'm happy,
I tend to be more honest
With myself
And with others,
That's why I only lonely drink
Alone.

We want to tear in -
To taste all the juices
Knowing that now,
All too soon, we could lose this.
We want to drink
All the things in this world
And never
Stop to breathe.
For the wheel
Takes and it gives
Some things will die
While others still live
When the day
Gives way to new day
We're afraid what we love
Might all fall away.
Still, the world demands
That we must let go
And let the deep rivers
In motion all flow
Dropping our leaves
Going back to our roots
Re-evaluating
What we know to be true.
Stop to breathe.
Before the next bite,
Stop to breathe.

Embracing the collective.
Grasping the nettle.

Hugging the toilet.
Regretting the rebel
in me.

Drowning out memories
Maybe I can see things differently
Trying to forget the things you said
The liquid in my cup a cherry red
Another night without you
Forgetting all the lies I bought into
Maybe I’ll forget your name
I was only a part of your game
I can’t see straight
All I did was take your bait
Maybe tonight I’ll find another
Trying so hard to find some other
Ended up in bed with someone new
I knew It was a mistake trusting you