My life,
A lifeless stare
Its funny how one day,
you can be so happy.
Then the next day,
feel like the world,
is falling apart.

Maybe its for the best,
But it doesn't feel that way.
She would be happier.
I only cause problems.
I want to help more at my house,
I want to help those,
Who go through everyday,
How I feel right now.

I put on a fake face,
for those who see me.
I live lying to those,
who are the closest to me.
They see a smile,
Under that face,
Is someone who feels worthless.
Some one who feels that,
They need to fix their own life.
Some one who wants to die but,
For the will of others,
And for the want to help others,
Will never die.

An unburing flame in darkness,
My life...

In all my life
I have never dealt with anything
More difficult than my own soul
So what if I told you
That I'm incapable of
Tolerating my own heart

I love you;
despite everything.

Despite all the times I’ve
broken down into nothing.

Despite every shade of green
I’ve ever turned.

Despite the space and time
between us like a hopeless
black hole.

Despite the nights spent
sitting at windows, waiting and
wishing.

And despite the fact that
everything about this is killing me
from the inside out;

I love you.

They print their lives on a price tag,
Those big fat numbers,
All they do is brag.
My daughter’s a neurosurgeon,
Graduated from Johns Hopkins,
Saving lives by the hundreds.
My son a number-crunching accountant,
A career that keeps his wallet thick,
And his pockets filled.

They wonder what I do,
I tell them I work with words.
They gasp,
Eyes widen.

I tell them that,
I can count the spaces between adjacent letters in a word,
String words together to build a sentence,
Layer each sentence above another like bricks,
Place a single powerful mark of punctuation in between,
The glue that holds the bricks intact and forms a wall.
A wall of stanzas,
Connected by commas and semicolons.
A wall of paragraphs,
Big enough to block numbers out.

Because words fill souls while numbers fill pockets.
Words are immeasurable.

Infinite.