She came to me, with a vial of dust.
A means of a healing, the taste was like rust.
Her wings, her secret. Her halo gave no light,
As my desperate song found her ears in the night.

I knew what she offered. I knew the whole game.
And yet, I moved forward—a moth to a flame.
Her vial sparked flares that pierced through the black.
I knew in that moment; I’d never look back.

An ember lit the dust, its smoke filled my being—
An offering to the soul, to keep it from leaving.
Each grain was a vow. Each breath was a sin.
Yet a life that laid to end, now stood to begin.

But when the dawn broke, she was no longer there.
Just poison on my breath and dust in the air.
I did find the vial, but no other trace.
Just a void in the air and a numb, rusty taste.

I walk the dark path. Her whispers, my guide.
Chasing silence, so me and my demons can hide.
She gave me the calm in a handful of ash.
For once, I have laid down the guilt of my crash.

I'm addicted. I still sing that desperate song.
Here to stay, where I may, or I may not belong.
A forbidden solace, that keeps me in the calm.
My shadow that still tries to pull me along.

I remain tormented, so this dust stays near.
Angelic in essence, how it banishes fear.
This angel didn’t save me. For this, I have sight.
But gave me the will to outlast one more night.

By day, perceived evil. By night, purely good.
Should I alter my state? For a will to live, I could.
Might someone judge me? Who’s to say it's not right?
To choose life one more time and keep carving out light.

♦ Đerek Λbraxas ♦

I can't sleep
I can't sleep
I can't sleep
I can't sleep

I won't sleep
I don't want to

Forgive the champion, he deserves the loss

Once in a while,
can't close my eyes

I want to put my hands around my neck
the grinding of my teeth
the air that I breathe

Stop it
stop it
stop it
stop it from flowing

I've been enjoying drinking
at six, seven, eight, nine, ten

watching the road from my balcony
listening to the drone of motor machines
I feel empty,
but am I not, constantly?

Hopelessness and desperation.
No place for me. I can't be found.
Just only doom and destination.
I'm like a ****** bride with no sound.

May be I spoiled, I don't conceal.
I sinned, repented and forgave.
And didn't live with mute appeal.
I'm not a saint, but not a knave.

I am like others: grudges, dances,
Triumph and errors, fear of all.
I am like others: love with candles
And then dark loneliness in whole

But only time made fun of me.
And didn't give a second chance.
All things I've done through daft stupidity,
I can't undo. Just in no stance.

You hear it, soft at first,
A whisper in the night,
A fluttering breath on your ear,
A wish that won’t take flight.
Love me,
Love  me.

The pulse quickens,
The shadows grow longer,
Each moment stretching
Like time has forgotten itself.
Love   me,
Love    me,
Love     me.

It clings like the air,
A taste on your tongue,
Unspoken, yet loud enough to drown.
The silence thickens—
Can you hear it?
Love      me,
Love       me,
Love        me,
Love         me.

It’s all that exists now,
A cage you can’t escape,
The need spirals deeper,
Faster, tighter,
Love          me.
Love           me.
Love          me.
Love         me,
Love        me.

The walls close in,
The words no longer hold weight,
Just a chant,
A prayer,
A broken record.
Love       me.
Love       me.
Love     me.
Love    me.
Love   me.
Love  me.

Love me?