A warm embrace from city grates
combats the colder breeze
How then should I continue?

A further stroll might treasure hold
But of this, none assures me.
Then why should I continue?

I might have stayed and soothed my pain
My legs had faltered for the thought
Why then should I not stop?

In short, I kept on in my walk,
But often now I think of how
I could be different now
If only I had stopped.

life..

takes a tole on you.


      so much knowledge and spiritual healing, and feeling, and hearing.

such a beautiful gift,

Life.


you die for it.

     if you choose to defend it, your death will be gentle.
                                                           with honour.

if you chose to play the victim, your death will be harsh.
                                            but with new understanding on the meaning of life.

Standing here
And I see endless roads
Of possibilities.
Standing here
With all my fears
I freeze.

Do not know which way to go
Do not know which way to take
But all that I can know
Is with every decision I make,
I will still wonder
About the endless roads
Of possibilities
That I never took.

my most recent bad decision
was to let even a day go by without telling you
that you're my everything
that i hang on every word you say and
i resent every second that you make my heart
beat faster than it should
because your laughter rings in my ears like the
morning after a rock concert
and every time i hear it i can't help the flutter in my chest

my most recent bad decision
is placing sunsets in your smile and
the ocean in your eyes when
i have no right to have put them there
when you have no right to have coaxed me to
even if you didn't mean to

and my most recent bad decision
was writing you into poems that make you out
to be a golden hearted glory
when the true story is a bit more gory
see the sunsets in your smile
are burning holes in my chest with a magnifying glass
and the oceans in your eyes
have been known to drown girls like me

so i'll rip up these words and i'll swallow them down
and pretend that you never happened
that i never saw the sunsets and i never saw the ocean
and i never
dreamt of lying next to you
and watching your chest rise and fall with the tide but
my most recent bad decision
is getting lost between love and hate
between friend and more
when you're sat across from me
talking about something
for at least ten minutes now
and instead of listening,
i've been writing all this down.

Not quite sure, am I,
Neither certain nor at ease.
I find no resolution
In this step in front of me.

I have no metric measures
To plumb this stormy ocean,
And if I tried to name the weather,
It would match my emotion.

Life is not a picnic,
No matter what some may say
It picks you up and throws you
Bound to dent, nick, and fray.

You smile at me,
you tell me that I'm pretty,
you tell me I'm different.
I think I like the words you say,
better than I like you.
Its hard when the flattery and the warmth of you
engulfs me and
makes me feel wanted.
So you cuddle me in closer
and the closer we get,
the more I know
that this
--
this
thing
--
is not what I want.

The great abyss

So I stand before the great abyss
Taking a breath before the plunge
Below, the unknown
The fragile porcelain might shatter
Well, it definitely will shatter!

But is it not better to break a bone
That grew askew over time
Break it to set it straight
Break it to fix it?

Maybe, we'll see
Maybe it's better
Hopefully it's better