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Natalie B Sep 2015
as time ticks away
my mind wanders to thoughts of
your sapphire eyes
Nastaj'a Sep 2015
Behind the closed doors of her eyes she dreams, she lives
But like an open window her forehead shows what she tries to hide
It’s funny how even her body betrays her
How her mind has her wrapped around its little finger
How her smile somehow has something against her
How they try to destroy her when she is vulnerable
When she can’t see them coming
So she keeps her eyes open
Holding onto her memories like live videos
As she sits in her cage
And waits for her daydreams to save her
A Alexander Sep 2015
Sometimes it seems I think so hard,
that you could possibly hear
You turn to look at me but say nothing to adhere.
That calmness in your face worried me that day,
and still I think about what you would have to say.

This picture in my head of you, telling me," its not real,"
"that all these dreams I  had left my heart like steel."
"Someone left a mark, that you won't let go away."
It's because you are so careless and why you go astray."
"Because you cannot change anything, is why you are so sad",
and whispered softly, "If it were meant to be, wouldn't it be had"?

I stop to think that maybe you just sitting still and having not said anything, is what cured me like a pill.

Closing my eyes, I now realize, that it really was a dream, something I had made up, something I had schemed.
It wasn't what I wanted, just something left unfinished, and I know on good terms would soon diminish.
I wanted to have an ending, a good one for that matter.
Something to give me peace, so these thoughts would finally scatter.

You hold my hand as I step back to reality, and now putting this so far behind me.
A strength only you could have given me, only a soul mate could do.
I hope he hears me thinking, when I say " I love you".
You took me out of a world that I didn't want to be in, one with a price for me to pay, a world that once left me unglued and seemingly gray.

©A. Harris
A poem I recently came across again, and wanted to include in my collection. I was 22 , on 12-25-03 when I had written this, some things never change.
He's not there and he never was.
I already realised but I'm realising again.
Now it's making it like he's really not here,
But he never was.
And it hurts.
But it shouldn't,
Because none of this was real.
Because it's not real.
I don't feel I can go there.
But not going there,
Leaves me with nowhere to go.
And no one even though I have many.
This is pretty much about having characters in maladaptive daydreams, any MDers here?
Getting lost in a daydream
What happens when fantasy is better than reality
Just one little thought
One idea
Your mind just takes it and runs
You get that sick stomach feeling
The butterflies
The what ifs
Wouldn’t it be wonderful
But expectations are never met
The story never ends the way you want it to
There you are
Standing in the middle of your own imagination
Just lost
Nowhere to run
You always just run into yourself
This little box you created to keep yourself safe has turned on you
No one to blame but yourself
Your legs start to break
Lungs collapse
Too tired to keep going
But you do
Why?
Keep on chasing this crazy dream that only leads down one road
You know the road
You said time and time again
I’ll never do it
I’ll stop
You never stop
Still that same little girl spinning around in tea cups
Cry for help but no one to hear you
Thwarted again by that **** box
Until one day you found a key
And that key fit into a lock
And so you opened the box
What now?
Ah, isn’t that beauty of it?
Anything you want
Preston Sep 2015
I had a dream that there was promise in the future
That my days dug in a hole, so deep,
That I never saw the sun rise – were a fading nightmare.
But my nightly sweats and twisted sheets
When the sun arose, planted seeds of fear in my psyche.
That fleet-footed knight mares rode across starscapes
Pulling shades and twisting
Warm fantasy
Into hallucinations of other me’s
Dying a thousand different ways.
I had a dream that the demons in my mind,
Results from God’s imablanced alchemic formula that made my brain,
Declared a war on my central nervous system,
That I fought in with breath, and blood, and tears, and sweat
(Eyes scrunched shut, and hands over my ears)
That was eventually termed O.C.D.
And I sit in offices and wait for elaborate flourished script,
That I exchange for the antidote,
For the depression flowing through my veins.
Eventually sitting awake,
Waiting for a song to soothe my tired eyes,
To touch some part of me that I can’t reach on my skin,
And send me off to sleep.
And I am tired –
Tired of the night wars
Waged in between starscapes
And daydream streams.
I’m tired of feeling weak,
When I’ve stood vigilant against
The death cries of a thousand other me’s.
I’m weary of feeling empty,
And afraid of my inability to close
This sadness wellspring,
Would lead me to see the backs of those I love,
Leave me, on parting words and ashen bridges – falling down.
(And if God has ever blessed me with anything,
It is how many incredible people,
Care about insignificant me.)
I had a dream that I was finally free,
Of shackles and bounds and fetters,
That tethered me to ol’ seductive Melancholy,
Warm tears flowing from my eyes,
As I embraced smiling friends, knowing that I
No longer needed to vent, or share the weight,
Or had the desire to die.
But I hear whispers in my ears,
Cold fingers gnawing at my rib cage,
Telling me my life isn’t worth anything.
And punching my gut to toughen me up,
Is outdated, deep seated Masculinity,
Shouting at me that I’m not a man,
Unless I’m wrapped in sheepskin or wearing fatigues.
And that every little slip of a word to the contrary,
Of the face I put on when I’m at my worst,
Is a weakness I must **** and shoulder my weight,
Alone.
I had a dream
That a miracle man could crack open my head
And sort out all the pieces that didn’t fit
And study all the places where my wires had been
Haphazardly ******* in wrong.
And I begged for the miracle surgery,
To alleviate this darkling stain,
But what’s frightening is – I can barely imagine myself without it.
I once looked at myself in the mirror, and wondered if it was better on the other side
While I practiced my lie of  “I feel fine”, code for standing on the precipice
Of suicidal decline.
When really, it was just for me.
Is a lie a lie if you believe it? Because that’s why I say it on repeat.
I once had a dream that I was loved,
And that’s the one I try to forget.
As I hold a candle close to my eyes,
My last daily reminder of
Still-living hopes light,
Before I risk a night of sleep.
(its actually true, look it up.)
sanch kay Jul 2015
if.
if
i had things
go my way, then
right now, you and i
we'd be screaming through the
mountain air, hanging upside down
on a cord made of bravery and love, we'd
dance
under the
naked moonlight,
waterfalls calling out
in the distance; i'd have
my hands around your neck and
legs tight around your waist as we paused
between the slipping rocks to steal each other's
breath away.
if
i had
things go my way,
baby, we'd take on the world
together; with a sky full of secrets
watching over us as we make memories
(and love)*
all over this world.
of love, lust and wanderlust. (i miss being with you).
Girl in black masquerade gown with books balanced on head

One high-heeled foot on drum

The other

A laceless sneaker


Long-stemmed glass of wine in right hand

Slim bottle of Summum ***** in left


Background dissonance


Vintage grey vehicle with red interior

PYT seated in the back

Tatted up bad boy in front seat

Bearded man in tailored blue suit

Hand draped over driver's seat door


Red carpet rolled out to the entrance of a dive bar

that leads into a mansion

Eyes Wide Shut
Maxi Jun 2015
In order for you to receive me in the most beautiful light
Flip switch the theory of imperfection
To mute unassuming dark
So that I may be unconditional sound between you
Like a vortex of grey noise
A pool of dead strings tied down
Drowning in a found harmony
Besides the scripture
Binded in your fingertips
Besides the god in your touch
Besides the soul splitting of your stare
The fixed mess of your hair
The growl in your whisper
The rain in your voice that rips, so heavily through the silence of air
Besides the storm of your kiss
Guided by the lightning of your tongue
Besides the sun sleeping in your smile
Making my every night want to be a day
Dreaming.
Beside you, I lay dissolving in an aura that burns like love.
Michaela Ferris May 2015
Once a long time ago I remember it all,
As if your words were etched into my skin...
I remember your words,
Your vicious twisted laugh
Sending me spinning into a forgotten void.

Your words were your weapons
Tearing at my ****** skin,
Ripping my heart into millions of pieces.
Not the daughter you ever wanted,
A mistake was all you ever thought of.

Your eyes were like two black vortex's
Draining every inch of hope from my once glimmering daydreams.
You ripped my world in two
Leaving me to dye among the fallen leaves of autumn.
Of course you never cared.

I am the daughter
You would gladly watch die!
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