sayaw, Eriko

isayaw mo lahat ng
sinabi niyang “mahal kita”
na pakiramdam mo’y totoo
nung mga panahong
umaalis kayo ng
isang araw kada-linggo
kasi dinadayo ka pa niya
sa Maynila

sayaw, Eriko

iindak mo at
isigaw mo sa mikropono
ang pabulong niya pa
noong unang sinabi,
“ako na lang,
iingatan naman kita”
sa maulan na gabi na ‘yun
noong iniiyakan mo
pa ang mga pangyayari
na kinagigitnaan mo

isayaw mo, Eriko

itawa mo lang ang sinayaw
niya sa sala mo
noong gabi na ‘yun
mashed-potato lang kuno
‘di ba?

halakhak, napamahal
ka sa mukha niyang
parang pinigang tuwalya noon
hindi naman siya guwapo
gaya ng lagi niyang sinasabi

umaray ka, Eriko

nasipa ka ng katabi mo,
pero naalala mo lamang
ang mga oras na nagsisipa
ka ng bato sa Makati
habang naglalakad kayo,
at kinukwento niya
ang pamumuhay niya noon
sa malayong lugar,
pawis na pawis kayo
pero ngiti niyo’y abot langit

talon, Eriko
palakpak

ilang buwan na rin ang lumipas
noong huli kayo nagkausap
binati mo siya ng
maligayang kaarawan,
kahit ang araw mo nun ay
malayong-malayo sa maligaya,
kapos sa saya,
kapayapaa’y nahahanap
mo lamang pag nandiyan ang
barkada

kalma,
inom ng tubig,
Eriko, kawayan ang bote ng alak,
pero huwag kang lalaklak

hinga,

ipanalangin mo na lang na siya’y
maging masaya,
dahil alam mo naman na
iyon ang tama.

what if after all this time
i still want to slow dance in the dark?
with trembling fingers and pinching high heels.
to feel light behind my eyelids,
knowing it doesn't come from the outside,
but from within.
purple, rolling storm clouds.
stars on hardwood floors.
so let's dance in a moonlit room, darling.

I bend
and you extend,
collarbones to the ceiling.
Beads of sweat glisten
and the whole world watches.

Vinyl catching fire
beneath the curling and scuffing
of our toes.
Struggling against each other
to gain control.

You leap out of reach
and I am distorted,
left alone to face piano trills
and nameless faces.
I grasp blindly but of course
you find me,
trapping me in the fermata.

I break free and spin for the wings
but you ****** my slender wrist.
My veins bulge as the music turns desperate,
a spattering of minor chords
as my heart breaks,
and a major longing emerges.

A lift to the heavens and I taste the sun
again were in sync.
Wrists sprained and lungs deflated
we continue this endless waltz
for the rest
of
time.

See the colours
Vibrant hues
Look into the mirror, it's you
Paintings on the wall
How far did you fall
Before you realized you were changing
And not just rearranging
Welcome back to you
Dancing bright and true
Unhaunted, undaunted
Clear and breaking through
With the spring I've sprung anew
So much I wish I could undo
Somehow I'll let it go
A set of seasons done and gone
And now I'm moving on

The rain has taken over
Drowned out the horizon
I find only sea serpents
Swimming in my gaze
The tentacles of your image grabs me
And throws me back
Into coffee dates with you
Steam swirling around fingertips
Quiet corners, watching
Conversations filled
With sailing trips of mermaids, octopi
Sea shanties tucked in your laughter
And your words
Catch me in this moment
Pin ****** upon my eyes
These tears are my only truth
Your lies pooling at my feet
Into tiny lakes
You never really could say
I love you, but you knew
How to send me swimming
In sediment sentences
Weighing upon my legs
And you told me
I wasn’t worth the ocean, but only
Puddles, I am dancing
Collecting the rain
Falling away from the city
I find solace in the clouds
Watching serpents of you fade away
While holding a bouquet of pens
I find myself scribbling out our tangled history
Sometimes, I tear up the storyline
Piece it back together
Into a collage of words
Creating a heroic plot
Where I never met you