I am running legs flying like Hermes wings.
I am running past, so far beyond the pain.
I am running from that kiss... tender kiss. Stupid kiss,
wanton, lustful, bursting kiss.
full of promises and tasting like salty beer and silky words
slithering arm around my waistline
making me forget I have time to waste
I am running,
from your words.
I am running from the picket fence and
picket hearts
and how do I belong in this circle of things ?
I am running and
I breathe so much better out here alone.
I am running until I can't see that house with
manicured lawn and
manicured family
me so wily,
wooo so wild.
If I hear my footsteps
I've come too close to my heart.
I am running and the trees, they race me in a blur
                                           when I turn my head
                      They are waving back.
I am running and the sun gets a head start,
but always falls behind, behind.
I am running
can't
outrun
you
can't unrun
you
can't unring
you
can't ignore this bell.
I am running and as fast as I go,
I can't outrun a circle,
and I hear the bells.
Yes, I hear the bells, runner.

sahn
9/14/14

Darling,
did you ever realize
just how harsh society is?

I'm guessing you have,
because I've noticed that lately
you haven't been the same.

For some reason,
society chose to misguide you,
and you've become damaged.

And it's quite a shame,
for I wish you could see yourself
the way I see you.

But being damaged,
does not mean broken.
Always remember that.

I didn't have a lot of choices growing up.
Not unless you count the way I wanted him.  

Painful or excruciating.

I didn't have much power either.  
No amount of prayers, wishing, hoping, begging would change his mind.  

Not to say that I didn't try though.

I have a difficult time conveying just how strong my memories and flashbacks are.  I appear calm and collected to the passerby.  I have to.  But peer into my soul and you will see the claw marks of my pain. Scraping their way down into a collective pool of boundless grief and torment log jammed by the planks of fear and shame.

I long to turn myself inside out and bare my rotting scars.  To have someone besides myself witness what bubbles to the surface just long enough to be squelched again.  Power and a choice.  That is what I beg to find within those murky waters.

A choice to change.  
A choice to pull the planks and let the stagnant flow.

The power to persevere.  
The power to put them in their rightful place.  
Forever.

You are addicted to your own sadness,
only speaking upon your hardships so you can feel something again.

you latch onto the pure ones in hope of being found,
but once you've been corrupted there's no turning around,

So be gentle with the innocent ones left,
for they can remind you of what life was before you wept.

There once was a girl and a boy
The girl opened up herself
And trusted the boy,
He broke her heart,
And she was shattered
Time went by
And she learned to trust again
Eventually he came back into her life
This time she thought she was being smart
She foolishly gave him another chance
He abused her trust,
And devastated her
She was irreversibly damaged
Now she trusts no one,
Not even herself