She opened the window above his bed
(How else will his spirit rise?)
I could have said
that his is a spirit that defies convention -
domestic or foreign -
his spirit would not wait for our permission.
But instead I smiled
at the February chill and the gas bill
that would have made my dad shudder.

last week my dad told me  
i am going to be homeless
when i grow up  

but from what i can see
i am not going to  
make it that far

Ragged, flimsy, thin, spotted card.
Creased with the tales of time.

Jaws equipped for a blow,
Ears higher than the mouth, just as God placed them.

Face structured like stone,
On the narrow shoulders of a boy, we lean.

And of all the 'siła' endowed to our name,
The windows gently lead to the soul inside.

Carry, drag, and crawl.
But never let an utter of hardship leave thy chest.  

Like a ‘Schnadel’,
More gold surfaces, as time does what it does.


"Spread your wings as I have told you,
God bless you, I love you."

Love from 'Polska' is different than words,
More doing than talking, build a house like the birds.


Stay true to 'Wiara' like a true ****** would,
John Paul set example, follow, do good.

"Fight like you’re dying, please lose the sad frown,
‘cause you can’t let the ******* get you down."

What a name you uphold,
Humble pride that is shown,
And like a good yellowhammer,
'Papcio' always returns home.

As I’m sitting here watching the deep red blood run down the tube into this white plastic container sitting in the floor letting me know that there was over 600 millimeters of blood in your lungs, I think about how much more could possible be left in there. How much more of the man that I know as my father diminishes away down a tube? I sit here in this uncomfortable hospital chair looking at you, staring at you. Memorizing your face and all your features because lord knows how much longer I’ll have you to myself. I stare at your hair and think of a color to describe it. Brown, dark blonde? Maybe a deep strawberry blonde? I can tell I got my hair from him and not my mother. It’s a mix of all three, and I can’t choose a favorite. From your hair to your closed eyes. Your eyes don’t have to be open for me to know the color blue that they have. If diamonds were blue then they would be your eyes. They have the most amazing and unique texture... Your hands I know all too well. I remember all the hugs I received from you, I was just barely okay before your hugs and then you made everything melt away. What I would do for one of your famous hugs right now.... I wish I could take away all of this pain, I really do. You have no idea how much it hurts me to see you like this and me not be able to do anything about it. You’re supposed to be the strongest man that I know. But right now they have tubes coming from almost every inch of your body. Each one reads something different about you. Heart is beating, check. Lungs are working, hardly but yes. Blood pressure is normal, not for long the way that plastic thing looks right now. They even have you on an oxygen tank. I don’t think I knew you snored, maybe it’s because of the tube hanging out of your lungs. Every time you inhale the air tight plastic thing holding your blood moves a little. Every time you move more of the red substance I know as my father trickles down the tube and drips into the white plastic thing holding almost a liter of you. The more your lungs emit blood into the plastic holder, the more I feel like you are sinking into the hospital bed. Honestly you look like it too.

Today,
on paper,
we've toured
a football ground,
but that description
neglects our fantastic found
displayed
in
leaping bound;
it's whenever I'm with you Dad,
it's whenever you're around.

My father was a hateful man.

The words he spewed
were alcohol on open wounds.

Behind his eyes
raged the fire
that burned down a home.

Night and night again
he'd say he's sorry.
And he was.

Until it happened again.

My father was a hateful man.
And that made me kind.

With this card, I'd like to say,
A Happy Birth and Father's Day!
To a brilliant father and a friend,
whom I must drive round the bend.

Fifty-eight years, you've been alive.
Protecting me for thirty-five.
And without you, I can easily say,
I wouldn't be the man I am today.

So live it up for a couple of days
and do things that make you smile.
Then get some flights to Chiang Mai booked,
and we'll live it up Thailand Style!

If time exists in heaven,
Do you still rise with the sun?
Do you and Mom share breakfast
Before your day has begun?

Can the heavens hear your laughter
As you sit and reminisce
About the time we had together
And other people that you miss?

And Daddy, do you still take walks,
Along the heaven's seas?
And when you gaze upon the surf,
Do you remember walks with me?

Are your standing with those brave young men
Upon its perfect shores?
Finally by their sides again,
Your comrades from the war.

Do you gather with your family,
Beneath the heaven's glow?
And gaze upon those mountains still
That once you called your home.

Is music all around you,
All those songs you held so dear?
Do you and Mom still sing together,
The way you did when you were here?

Do you ever have long talks with God
About those left behind?
Do you tell him all the stories
Of all our grand and treasured times?

I think that heaven must be grateful,
To have you there each day,
To bring your easy laughter
And your silly sense of play.

And I'm sure that God already knows
The special Father you had been.
And how I wish that you were here,
To guide my way again.

But I carry you inside my heart.
You are never far from me.
I see you in my smile,
And in who I grew to be.

And I'm sure that on this Father's Day,
God will help you celebrate.
All those Dads who changed the world with love,
What a Party that will make!

A distant man,
He's different but the same,
And while he had up and ran
I still owe him my name
Can't say I resent him,
But the love can be strained
I wish we had understanding,
Yet it's just a pain