You made me feel so much
We were just out of touch
You helped me to feel
Reminded me that life is real

The butterflies
The warm words
The late nights
The exchanged words

But you murdered the butterflies
Drowned them in cyanide
Kept them alive with a kindred fire
Only to burn them up in their own desire

And the boys see your tears as nectar. Flocking, not seeing the cyanide flowing from your eyes, wanting to be the savior. They’ll never be the anecdote, but, after all, a savior isn’t needed, just wanted.

My heart pounds
Run out of nouns
Headache
accompanied by heartache
Dizzy
Told me to drink the water fizzy
Can hardly breathe
slipping away me
My lunch comes up
HUP HUP HUP
My body jerks
And herks
Then my heart slows to a dead mans pace
I spray the mace
To keep them at bay
I don't want to die
I can't feel my blood in my veins
Faint
The blood is taint
I black out
All around me they pout
Finally my heart siezes
My life ends in pieces

Paying the Price?
It's never for the nice.
So I'll roll the dice
Cut and Cut
The drops they drip
The pain barely a nip
I'm not suicidal
Nor homicidal
But I'm angry and sad
And full of madness
And of course Badness
Delight in my own pain
Not for gain
But to punish
Time for the finish

Your eyes are like hazel,  your words are like cyanide

Those chocolate oceans drowning me

You build me up and draw me in, traps baited with sugar

Then all the same tear me to shambles with your poison

Apple seeds,
Apple seeds,
I want to put them in your mouth.
Pop them past those parted lips,
instead of put them in the ground.
Pretty, dark red beads,
nestled in their hollows,
I'll feed them to you everyday,
through all your highs and lows.
Despite the fate I've wished on you,
you're still feeling fine,
so stick out your little tongue, my dear,
because it's time to dine.

Re-oxygenate my body
Push air throughout my lungs
Poison the rest of my body, let it soak in my vessels
Break my crumbling bones
Please, understand my needs
There is no cure for cyanide
Let my blood boil;
Allow me to sink into the floor
Let your breath be my last

Hydrogen Cyanide*

I have no idea how it feels
to receive what I deserve from you,
no memory,
only faded dreams.

Seething over what I was denied,
I became ill from your heavy,
searing dose of
hydrogen cyanide,

And life lost its meaning
because I never learned
to pour this love I carry inside
all over myself.