speechless in the fact he could be mine
but could he be with another?
doubtless that he would be able to get with
another. if he isn’t, do i have a chance?

secure in the will of god to keep me on
the straightest path, but what if he’s on the path?

i think you might like me
but i'm scared of what you'll do
if i say something wrong
or if you don't like me too

what if you hate me
after i say it?
i don't want to ruin what we have.
so take my feeling, measure it, weigh it

maybe you're just like this
or maybe its something more
but if i do something wrong
what if things can't go back to the way they were before...?

just a casual crush
somehow joined my crushed heart
she gave life to the poet inside me
whom I never would know if I hadn’t met her
she was like stars in the night sky
which brings comfort to distant observer
when I witnessed her heavenly presence
it was like the blind seeing, feeling light
the most beautiful flowers envied her beauty
she was as complex as a eels birth
that is what I liked about her!
Only her closest ones know about her
I tried my luck
unlike the scientists I had some success
success which gave and took everything simultaneously
I found a picture of her birthday
the first pic of her adorned in a red dress
glowing brighter than the ruby on her neck
the next picture was of her boyfriend
tall, long hairs and success all over him
next with their lips locked
which unlocked my mind into reality
just a casual crush or so I thought
somehow has crushed my heart harder

once, a blonde, sandy head entered my view,
with eyes of clear skies, shiny drops of dew,
a laugh of windchimes and stars, ringing true,
a smile of cherry cola, sweet and new.
transfixed, i gazed, entranced and enchanted,
at the misty sunlight, almost dancing
around her, as seeds were firmly planted,
at the sight of a nymph prancing.
but suddenly, i was back in English,
and she was looking at me, the angel,
her soft dimples framing her face, sheepish,
as she reached for a pen, somehow graceful,
while i stuttered out a yes, mumbling,
and cupid groaned, my own heart stumbling.

what do you want he asks
I want to collect the pieces
of your soul
and hold them close to my chest
I want to memorize your laugh
so I can replay it in my head
on nights I feel lonely
I want to listen to every word
that comes out of your mouth
and become enraptured by
your sentences
and listen like I'm going
deaf never to hear your voice again
what do you want he asks
I want you

he asked me if I was okay
he thought I was acting
lugubrious
and didn't want me feeling down alone
I poured my heart out to him
and instead of being met with
anger and disgust and defensiveness
I got met with
understanding and love and compassion
this is how he is different
this is how I know
he won't hurt me
not like the others

I used to hapless in my search
my search for a healthy relationship
but finally
I hit the lottery with him
my hapless search is no longer hapless
I feel so lucky
with him in my life

I reached out to you yesterday.
You had just told me how you felt,
You said it felt difficult.
I felt it too.

Three weeks it had been.
The silence echoed.
I questioned myself, had I done something?
I waited and waited…

I asked to meet up again,
You didn’t respond.
The day before you sounded different,
Then I heard nothing but my own heartbeat.

I had been over the moon.
I thought you might like me.
Do you though?
How am I to know.

My friend saw us,
Were you asked about it, and it felt too much?
Or were you honest…
You just felt like you were gonna mess something up.