My heart cracked a little on the inside.
My ribcage caved from smooth words that slipped down my throat
like angel nectar.
On the inside a girl stands there with clairvoyant eyes and a hushed tongue,
but at the center there is a hollowness that remains.
The small things in my life slip through my fingertips so easily.
I cannot catch them.
Catch them.
or
Catch up.
Catch up to the feelings that I leave on the doorstep of my eyelids.
Since then I try to fill the cracks,
the gaps,
the spaces that yearn to feel the fullness I felt
when I was a ripened fruit ready to burst into maggots
and sweetened sap.

I found a crack in the sidewalk
That I didn't have the urge to step on
And I passed this crack every day
On my 4.40pm walk
For what seemed like a lifetime
And I glared daggers
At the thing that made my skin crawl
And my neck ache
And my fingers twitch by my side
Because cracks in sidewalks
Were meant to be tread upon
Every single one of them
Even partially
Not to break a mother's back
But to cover the imperfections
And to fill the void
That made me uneasy
And to fill it
Even for a millisecond
Before I moved on
As if the sole of my shoe
Could somehow heal the
Sadness that the ground must be feeling
But there was a crack in the side walk
That I didn't have the urge to step on
No matter how many times
I passed within stepping distance
And no matter how many times
It caused me pain
And maybe that was the period of my life
When the obsessive compulsive part of me
Decided to take a break
Because maybe
Maybe some part of me
Saw that the grass that grew
In the messy line that pointed east
Was something more beautiful
And more honest
Than any hidden disfigurement
Could ever be

You were a crack in the sidewalk
That I meant to step over,
But I ended up stumbling and falling
Into you.
Stumbling and falling,
Like how Alice tumbled down the rabbit hole.
You appeared to be much deeper
Than I ever imagined possible.
And for a crack (more like a canyon) in the sidewalk,
You had impressive lighting and decor.
I think I'll make myself at home.
I learned that
Things aren't always how they seem,
Along with the wisdom that
You don't get bad luck
For stepping on cracks.
Although,
You may find yourself lost in another world.
I just thought you were a crack in the side walk,
But you were (you are) so much more.

*I hope I'm not just one to you.