During our courtship I gave you my best,
        Exhibiting a dote that would never rest,

Tardy nights on the phone to hear your smile,
         Wanting to verbalize more than a while,

I've never had the valor to apportion my heart,
         Fear that the love would some how depart,

Today I concede to the feelings I possess,
         A blessing from God- and nothing no less,

I ken that he has been good to me,
         Confessions of my fears have set me free,

For this- I vow to cherish and love,
Through sickness, health and all of the above,

Changing my ways to think that I can,
          Revised my thinking from boy to Man.

For this I Love You

Debauchery was in the air for all of us last night.
Neo hip hop stoner jive.

I once watched my friend break down into tears after
hearing a Phil Collins song while shopping for dinner
in a Louisville gas station.

Angela will get up and leave the room if The Reason by Hoobastank
comes on the radio and you still listen to Closing Time when you get ready for bed.
Weird phrases are hovering through the air.

I turned on the bathroom fan to avoid sitting in silence with myself and you ripped up all my potted plants and sold my favorite arm chair on craiglist.
I wake up sobbing.

You were chewing on a red pen, but i thought it was a twizzler. I worked up the courage to ask you for one.

The chainsaw love song of the jumping spider
makes the snare drums in your ears roll.
Its gold in the right light.
Even better in the under light.

I told you i think its weird that everyone buys shoes
and maybe some people feel about their shoes
the way i feel about my shoes,
Which is a good feeling.

I am writing this poem while other people
read poems that the have written also.

I am too anxious to ask people when podcasts become a thing
and what does it mean to be a podcast?

A friend once said it would be cool if your poetry professor
told you to ******* but its also cool when they get you a
glass of water at the poetry reading where you are writing poems.

I think the girl in front of me is writing a poem too.
I wonder if she writes about spiders.
I wonder if she is giving her mom a poem for her birthday.
I wonder if she drafts poems about how you make her feel but
deletes them before they burn into her laptop screen.

I wonder how you feel when you make me feel good and happy.
I hope that you feel like the way i feel when you make me feel good and happy.
I am glad we are friends. I want you to play piano with me on sunday evenings
so we can prelude into the perpetual strain of sunday to saturday.
It may, if we play loud enough, dampen the bodies of the
****** and doomed that we inhibit on weekdays.

I wish I could write poems that inspire your poems.

confessions from
a cerebral inkwell
hemorrhaging the
paradox of spilled
holy water blessed
in unorthodox
black lace.
||shoo.shu ||

I've seen you colour me in and colour me out -
like a child curious with a new discovery.

I feel your gaze watching me as I half-sleep.
Your colorblind world may be black and white,
but darling I thrive for the darkness!
It hides the colours you could never see -
so colour me out,
and let me sleep in peace!

If someone asked me if I regretted it, and I said I did...that it made things so difficult, hard to explain, contain...
I'd be lying.
Lying through my teeth, through my woes, through my checkered soles.
I miss your clumsy lips on me, lopsided with liquor as we stumbled along
the tattered college sheets.
It's been a month and I'm two steps back,
Trying to understand my life, my life as sudden as a heart attack.
You gave me your kisses, a little less than intended
I gave you my body but not my choices.
I want more, I wanted more but all before I wanted your friendship
We were/are friends unchained
Students with no purpose running astray
Your piercing and voice commanded to me
I called and you did but who would've thought we had the right chemistry?
I never loved someone more than you, in the way of pure intimacy and shoulder glance
It's been a month since our tryst in the sheets, hidden away in your tiny bed room with nothing but a laptop playing streams and a thick bed sheet
Skin on skin
We were mixed together as one, never been with someone my parents would love.
So bad so b a d
I loved your face and your voice
I loved your hands between my thighs
I loved your lips on my ear and neck
I loved feeling within you and in the middle of me
Knowing someone I somehow knew in all casual entirety
In the rain glimmers of dust
We talked and talked
*** was never a must.
That's why this is a surprise
Someone so dear to me could make me feel such a surmise
You're all I want but all a risk
I can't help but want you by my sheets
I fear a new day
A new day feeling still stuck in this way.

1.
looks are blushes, the summer skies burning
across the curves of my cheeks;
something deep down inside stirs.

2.
'I want to get lost in the
mountains', you said, and i
immediately wanted to get lost
in your eyes.

3.
Electricity -
n.
that feeling of sudden power
coupled with the sting of vulnerability
that sets your nerves on edge
the first time he touches you.

4.
(the first time he touched me
i forgot what my hands
even felt before
they met his.
they struggled to let go)

5.
one day our eyes had
enough of waiting, our
hands got greedy for
naked flesh and we longed
for moremoremoremore.

6.
we never admitted it
not to each other, and
especially never to ourselves
but baby, you were my manna
and i, *the one who perhaps
could have.

7.
and to this day i have
not stopped longing
to wake up wrapped
around you, wrapped
in your arms,
iloveyou

lovelovelovelove
you.