You ask me not to wait for you

I've been waiting my entire life.

Mama says I'm too direct, that I say things too quickly. But what does it matter?

Maybe my entire life, all of these nineteen years, wasted in the poppies beyond the tall, tall fence...

Maybe, just maybe, I've been waiting, and I didn't even know. Maybe I was waiting- am still waiting- for you.

In between lives I've loved you, different parts of you each time, so now in this life we are living I've come to love you completely, without reserve, like putting all the pieces of a puzzle together, leaving me one beautiful something made with the tiny pieces of us.      
          s.w. collins

Like any puzzle,
though -- overtime -- we lose the little pieces. And the whole picture that once was is now distorted.
Eventually, we leave the puzzle behind because the holes cannot be filled.
we are missing the things that used to hold us together            l.r.

Carrie Lee could care less about coffee.
Her arms lay crossed as she gazed out the window at the busy street.
Carrie gave a sigh, '"So why did you choose to see me?"
Jeremy cleared his throat and fiddled his fingers in discomfort.
"I missed you, Carrie. You were too busy to chat when I was in Germany."
She glanced his way and blinked a few times.
"Did you also miss Tracy, Lisa, Katie...?"
He quickly grasped the tone of her voice and squirmed in his seat.
Carrie's throat clenched once the words left her mouth, she predicted he'd get up and leave.
"I told you, Louie set me up to run into them like that. You know I would never hurt you."
"One fish, two fish,red fish, blue fish one deceive, two deceive."
He was puzzled , gasping for air over his failed attempt to convince her of his intentions.
"Tracy barely spoke to me at school, Lisa made fun of me daily, and Katie-"
Carrie's voice was stern and sharp and she gracefully stood from her seat and cut him off.
"Can you say you only care about me, honestly?"
Jeremy stood up and held Carrie's arms to reassure that she wouldn't leave.
"Carrie, please: listen to me."
She whipped her body away from his grasp. Eyes stinging from the memories she tried to forget for all those months.
He chased after her, wiping away her tears that flow free.
In disappointment she mumbles, "I'm sorry Jeremy, I guess your son just has to grow up not knowing his father."
"Carrie..."
People were staring as she gracefully stormed her way out of the cafe. It was just like their breakup in high school all over again.
"It's Carrie now. Katie tomorrow. Stay strong girl, leave him be."
His hand clenched the space in his chest he could feel expanding as his eyes started to hail.
Despite the tears blinding his vision, he followed her once again. "Of all the people in the world my heart had to choose, it choose you, Carrie."
His persistence made her feet stop, heart clench and mind reel.
Tears streaming down his face to his neck and his rosary.
She spoke "If I had a choice, it would choose you too. Maybe another life."
And at that moment, amidst the busy streets of Canterbury
was the soft whisper of two lonely hearts,
pledging to one another in loyalty,
"I love you".

There was a certain air to the night, that reminded me too much of you.

I wasn't sure if it was your cologne or just a warmth within the winds.

Maybe it was the coldness of your empty side of the bed.

Or the weightlessness of my empty hands without yours in them.

Memories of you were inescapable. Everything about you lingered in the air.

A still image of a single memory
Unchanging, insultingly unwilling to age throughout the passage of time
And image that can be preserved long after one's  demise
And though occasionally  they can be edited and disguised
It's always fun to revisit  those lost times through your eyes

Clouded eyes of reason
Trailing and tracing through fogs of treason
Deranged thoughts spill in my head
Minds race and my sanity held by a thread
Smile and frown
Up and down
Hallucinations through creation
And creation through destruction
I'm a puppet on my society's string
I fear I'm no longer a human being

Drive me to the edge of the earth;
You're in control.

I've been reading the dictionary lately,
A little something to pass the time
As I melt into the passenger seat,
With the world just ebbing on by.
Blurs bend the visible light;
We're going the wrong way.

Am I really here at all?
These thoughts are hard to handle.
What happens next I'm not sure,
But I'm willing to take a gamble.

Would you please pass me a needle,
With thread that blends to this flesh of mine.
I've been reading the dictionary lately,
And it turns out to have been a complete waste of time.
Blurs burn all things to white;
We're going the wrong way.

Drive me off the end of the earth;
You're in control.

Trippin and falling, high like i can’t touch the ground proper
im stallin and falling like prophetic time stoppers

so stop!

and watch a television show, because when it comes to us you just can’t know

inside the body, outside of time, shulgin synthesized drugs parody the mind.

seen black holes ebb and flow, but you think you on a ro’?

Put on ZINNs shews and check the news

HEADLINE TONIGHT:

PSYCHONAUGHTS PREACHING TO THE MASSES
FROM THE pew pew pews….

our lazers are in favor

ignite the light,

PEW@!

mind blown dead slaver.

2) Silence as my psyche gets psychedelically psychonaugtic, toppin my minds eye-conic depiction of psychotropics, an ocean of dreams, im sailing through thoughts, so potent it seems, l on the drop, this is some ******-logic……

3)…..Naughty nautic.  Sailing through waves of rhymes, try to , but when it comes to the jugger-or-naught, you can’t stop it.

so we dreadlock the dreadnaught just so god can fill the hair lock,

fall from the sky, slow down and reverse this verse,

cause there is no up or down, just forward or rewound,

straight

****** LOGIC