I would never hurt anyone,
Or make them sad,
Even if it risks my reputation,
Or make me feel bad,
I would make you smile,
Even if what you say breaks my heart,
In your shoes I have walked more than a mile,
I know how it feels,
And I would risk everything,
Just so happiness a person could feel,
If I cannot have it,
Doesn't mean others cannot too,
I will sacrifice every bit,
Of my emotions just to make you smile,
I would lie,
I hate you for what you have done to me,
But I can't tell you that,
I can't tell you how I truly feel,
It will hurt you,
And I can't let that happen,
I guess I will give up myself,
To you,
Something like a clown,
Nobody sees the frown,
Behind the laughter and mask,
No one sees the heart,
Behind the entertaining art,
No one knows the truth,
This is the purpose of my creation,
To make you smile,
Even at the cost of my reputation.

I fell for a madman, a lunatic, a clown
Knowing this all I can do is frown
For so many years I took his abuse
Him hunting a man who hides as Bruce

This cakey clown makeup will cover the bruise
A temporary reminder not to give him bad news
He threw me out the window, it’s not the first time
It’s all my fault, I got in the way of his crime

One thing I needed to remember, he’s the star of the show
It’s him and Batman, him and his foe
I was just a puppet, a means to an end
Maybe that why I met Ivy, I just needed a friend

I was charged to mend and fix his head
But it was him who got inside mine instead
My ambition clouded my judgment, all could see
He saw this flaw and decided to overtake me

I became his Harlequin, or at least I guess I was meant too
The issue is I thought for myself and didn’t share his worldview
He lured me in with sadness and my pity
He told me we would in the future rule Gotham city

I believed him, I changed into a red and black lackey
He said he just wanted to bring smiles and make himself happy
Mad love, it’s what the sirens called it
I guess they were right; how did I not take a hint?

But he never loved me, that much to me is now obvious
He hit, punched and dragged me, how was I so oblivious?
I was just a pawn in his mad Puppet play
I guess the joke was on me, isn’t that right Mr. J?

Too saddest to tell you
today on this First Day of Spring
my Daddy has his Birthday
anyway
he cannot sing
not today nor tomorrow
you'll ask me why?
decennia ago he suddenly died
not of any stroke nor heart-ache
just wanna remember
that Today just One Day after the Northward Equinox
he'd have his celebrations
never congratulations anymore now
not today nor tomorrow
this is not a poem
just a statement
a human document
of one of the most gifted fathers
aquarelles, poetry or feuilletons
even performances at William's Theatre
his weekly sequels of the loving
and living Charlie Chan
besides earning much money
as the top-manager
of STANVAC, Jakarta
that big oil-office
with the red Pegasus
my Daddy climbed its back
and never returned
remembering his Birthday
emotionally on his epitaph
how odd
The Start of Spring
One Day Before his BirthDAY
the annual Northward Equinox
has just passed his graveyard
keep smiling is not here today
but grieving will be okay
he'd be no more a part of all celebrations
even though where he now is
he remains my Dearest Daddy and all there is
I remain,  still with the greatest admiration

and his part of heart
still beats in mine....

Anno Domini 21 March 2018

the clown in the picture turns his head
and glares
crows gather in the corner
and wait patiently
ghost of all demons
snaps his neck
one final breath
escapes
clown blinks
crows fly
shadow fades
siren screams from a distance
and ever so slowly
finds it's way

having pronounced
he exits shaking
at what he had seen
in those dead eyes

I am a stowaway, destined to move inside circus walls.
The road is bumpy but someone took my hand and gives me love. They showed me how to climb the ropes to do the clown craft of laughter and merriment. I hid in that shadow for a long time. Trying to balance reality with fiction. After learning its art inside a clown car, using thousands of balloons and standing in shadow of real self behind magic trick after 32 years I’m leaving the train life. The life of endless tickle gadgets and collecting smiles.  Now I am a clown plane- cloths-division leading a life with magic wand of pen.

carries a bag of giggles,
spread through their smile.
Catch the energies
and you float for miles.

As long as a clown carries love they can't be lonely.
At least not when they are in clown mode.

A clown I be so won't you look,
behind my cloak so fine.
In-between my special song,
I move with silly rhyme.

I dance, I wink, and I do smile
my light of happy moves.
When you meet me you will feel,
delighted inside grove.

Grove to let go all worries,
to move in harmony.
Laughter is the key so grand  
to drift in life so free.

I do plant a seed each day
so inner child comes through
It is what I love to do
to bond with you so true.

Doot la doddle I send love
Doot a loot ya hoo.
Deep inside you are a clown.
Just let it come out too.